Barney Quote #679
Quote from Barney in Everything Must Go
Abby: You know what I hate most about Ted?
Barney: What?
Abby: His stupid hair. His stupid, lame awesome hair. It's so stupid and awesome.
Barney: You know what I hate most about Ted?
Abby: What?
Barney: How he's always like, "Oh, I want to fall in love and have a relationship. I care about the people I have sex with." He's so lame.
Abby: He's so lame and awesome.
Barney: You know what he needs? He needs to see just how horrible he is when he's in a relationship.
Abby: Yeah, and I need to show Ted that I'm over him. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Barney: I think so.
Abby: You're thinking of having sex with Ted?
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Everything Must Go’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, in the spring of 2008 something kind of strange had been happening to your uncle Barney. He'd be doing great with a woman.
Barney: So I threw the pressure air oxygen into its mouth. I shoot the tank, boo, no more shark. Mr. Holland and I swam back to shore. Hey, let me serve you a drink.
Future Ted: He's only been gone a few moments but when he return...
Barney: So where were we?
Ted from 2030: He'd get slapped! It kept happening... Until finally, Lily was approached by a mysterious woman who wants her stay away from Barney. So when it happened once more...
Barney: Again? Really? Wait...
Future Ted: [v.o.] Barney knew who to look for...
[Barney chases after a blonde woman who was leaving MacLaren's:]
Barney: Hey, excuse me. Did I sleep with you and then totally screw you over?
Woman: No.
Barney: What are you doing on Friday?
Quote from Barney
Abby: Well, it hurt, okay? And then Ted, the love of my life started dating my boss instead of me. Do you know how that feels?
Barney: Oh, boo-hoo, poor little Ashley.
Abby: Abby!
Barney: Abby. A few weeks ago, Ted dumped me as his wingman. You had a crush on him for a couple weeks? I was Ted's best friend for seven years.
Abby: Ted said Marshall was his best friend.
Barney: Seven years!
Quote from Lily
Marshall: So, uh, I just met with the contractor. and it turns out that fixing the floors of the new apartment is going to cost a lot more than the estimate.
Lily: But we can barely afford that to begin with.
Marshall: I hate to say this, but I think you're going to have to sell your stuff.
Lily: Whoa! Marshall, that's just a game we play in the bedroom.