Marshall: How can I help you as your lawyer? You didn't break any laws, did you? Robin knows you slept with her, doesn't she?
Barney: I didn't break any state or federal laws, but I think I broke a much, much higher law. The Bro Code.
Future Ted: [v.o.] For many years, we had heard Barney quote the Bro Code, a list of do's and don'ts for all bros. Some were basic.
[flashback:]
Barney: Bro Code article one: "Bros before hoes."
Future Ted: Some were unbelievably complicated.
Barney: Bro Code article 89: "The mom of a bro is always off limits, but the stepmom of a bro is fair game if she initiates it, and/or is wearing at least one a article of leopard print clothing."
Future Ted: And some were just plain disturbing.
Barney: Bro Code article 34: "Bros cannot make eye contact during a devil's three-way." Two dudes.

Marshall: This is not a legal documet. This is just something you wrote.
Barney: You think I wrote that? Oh, Marshall, don't you know the glorious history of the Bro Code?
[historical flashback:]
Barney: [v.o.] The year was 1776. The place: Philadelphia. Benjamin Franklin and George Washington were having a drink.
Benjamin Franklin: But, bro, seriously, I called the dibs on that wench. You codpiece blocked me.
George Washington: So what if I did? There's no rule against it.
Benjamin Franklin: Well, there should be. There should be a set of rules that govern the way bros comport themselves among other bros.
George Washington: But who shall write such a document? I have to go to Me, D.C., and pose for the dollar bill.
Benjamin Franklin: And I have to do some kite-flying or something.
Barnabus Stinson: I shall write this set of rules. And I shall inscribe it on the back of the Constitution. To save paper.
George Washington: It's resolved! Barnabus Stinson shall write... the Bro Code.
Barnabus Stinson: And I shall l include a provision that stateth "No eye contact in a devil's three-way."
Benjamin Franklin: Seconded.
George Washington: Seconded.

Ted: So there's no roof party?
Barney: Oh, no. There is. We're just not going. This is how good a friend I am. They want you to spent your 30th standing around drinking flat beer ten feet above your living room. But not me, bro. I pulled out all the stops. Private jet, Valderrama suite at the Bellagio. Steaks at BOA, scotch at Ghost Bar, then two ringside seats to watch Floyd Mayweather go ten rounds with, wait for it... a grizzly bear!
Ted: Take me home, Barney.
Barney: No! We have to go to Vegas. Look, Ted, I didn't want to say this, but... There's something that I have to tell you, and I wanted you to be in the best possible frame of mind before you heard it.
Ted: You slept with Robin. [limo suddenly breaks, the divider comes down] Ranjit!
Ranjit: You slept with Robin? Barney, that is Ted's ex-girlfriend! [angrily speaks foreign language]