Ted: [answers phone] Barney, where are you?
Barney: In a cab, heading downtown with our hot and sexy dates for the evening. Yes, it happens that fast! We're going to that club, Low Point, and you're coming with us.
Ted: Barney, for the last time...
Barney: All right, I didn't want to tell you this in front of Marshall and Lily because they're old and married, and it's too late for them anyway, but Ted, the world is going to come to an end tonight. Yes. Think about it. End of the world, Nostradamus. Notre Dame. Fighting Irish. Irish. St. Patrick's Day. This is it, bro. Bro-pocalypse Now. Bromageddon.

Future Ted: [v.o.] So that was Saint Patrick's Day, 2008. I found out years later that your mom was at that party. I just didn't meet her. And it's a good thing I didn't, 'cause if I had met her, I don't think she would have liked me. Heck, I don't think I liked me. But that's okay. Tomorrow had arrived. You see, I didn't know it yet, but my luck was about to change.

Ted: The whole do bad, good things happen... Ashlee is married.
Barney: So?
Ted: What do you mean, so?
Barney: Open your brain tank, brah, 'cause here comes some premium 91 octane knowledge. There's three rules of cheating: It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married, it's not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels, and it's not cheating if she's from a different area code. You're fine on all three counts.
Ted: How do you know she's from a different area code?
Barney: She's 516. She might dress like she's 718, act like she's 212, but trust me, she's 516. Oh, and her husband, letting her out alone on Saint Patty's Day? If that dude's not 973, I'm 307. Wyoming.