Barney Quote #565
Quote from Barney in The Platinum Rule
Barney: My own bar. I can't hit on women in my own bar. Remember the old Barney? He was a lion, the king of the jungle, stalking whatever prey he chose, going in for the kill.
Ted: You've got a whole meat locker at home full of corpses, don't you?
Barney: Now look at me. Declawed. Neutered. What was once my jungle is now my zoo and I am forced to mate with the same old lioness again, and again, and again while families pay to watch.
Ted: Yeah, this metaphor's really falling apart.
Barney: Put a bell around my neck and scratch my belly, kids, for I am just a docile housecat now. Miow.
Lily: Well, we love this bar. You can't dump her. Marry her if you have to.
Robin: Wendy the Waitress hyphen Stinson.
Marshall: Don't kill the bar, dude.
[Barney bangs his head on the table]
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Platinum Rule’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Lily: Michael and Laura. They're awesome. We're gonna invite them over for dinner.
Ted: Oh no, no, guys, guys! Are you insane?
Ted: This is New York City. You don't get close to the neighbors. You nod at them politely in the hall. You call the cops if you haven't seen them in a while and you smell something funny, and that is it.
Quote from Ted
Barney: Ted, have you not been listening? Attraction, bargaining, submission, perks, tipping point, purgatory, confrontation, fallout! These things will all happen to you as surely as they happened to all of us! It's a rule of nature.
Ted: Well, I'm sick of all the rules! There's too many of them! The hot/crazy scale, the lemon law, the platinum rule! If everyone in the world followed every one of your rules, the human race would cease to exist. Yes, chances are to Stella and I are not going to live happily ever after. The overwhelming odds have it ending badly. And when that happens, it'll be for one of a million possible reasons. But that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try. And when it does fail, so help me God, it's not gonna be because of some rule. [looks in the mirror] P.S., you just made my hair look awesome. Good night.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Ted, you've heard of the golden rule, right? "Love thy neighbor?"
Ted: Uh, actually, it's "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It's from the bible.
Barney: Damn it, Ted, I've worked out this whole thing where the golden rule is "love thy neighbor", okay? Now the golden rule is "Love thy neighbor". But, there's one rule above it: the platinum rule: "never ever, ever, ever, love thy neighbor."