Barney Quote #523
Quote from Barney in Spoiler Alert
Barney: Are you certain you want to go through with this?
Marshall: I have to know, yes, yes.
Barney: Very good. First, we go to the New York State Bar Web site. We disable the firewall, then the recursive algorithm grabs your password, and as the application erases itself leaving no trace we were here ever... You ready to see your future, bro?
Marshall: Yes. [Barney presses a button on the computer] It's a dog pooping on a baby.
Barney: Right! Isn't that awesome?
Marshall: So you went through all this just to get me to look at your stupid video?
Barney: Yeah, it was worth it.
Marshall: Barney, Barney, that was the biggest test of my life. I'm incredibly stressed out right now, and I... Okay, that's pretty funny.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Spoiler Alert’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Lily: This is all Ted's fault. Oh, like he's so perfect, Mr. Corrector.
Robin: What do you mean?
Lily: Oh, come on. You dated the guy for a year and you never noticed that most of what Ted says is correcting you.
[flashback:]
Robin: Hey, can you hand me a Kleenex?
Ted: Actually, Kleenex is a brand. This is a facial tissue.
[another flashback:]
Robin: Oh, my God, is Frankenstein gonna kill that little girl?
Ted: Uh, Dr. Frankenstein isn't in this scene. That's Frankenstein's monster.
[another flashback:]
Robin: That literally blew my mind.
Ted: Figuratively.
Quote from Ted
Future Ted: [v.o] Kids, the early bloom of a romance is a wonderful thing. You meet someone, you have a connection, and that person becomes sheer perfection in your eyes. You just can't find anything wrong with them. And you can't wait to tell the world about it.
Barney: She convinced you to go jogging? Wow, you really want to get in this girl's pants.
Ted: I'm telling you, you guys are gonna love her. Lily, she knows all about art. Marshall, she's open to the existence of UFOs. Barney, she's hot. Robin, she's not hotter than you.
Barney: Like her already.
Lily: Great.
Robin: How not hotter?
Quote from Barney
Barney: Oh, hey, can I jump on there? I want to show you something awesome.
Marshall: What? No, no. Bar results. My future.
Barney: Trust me. You need to see this.
Marshall: What is so important that I need to see it right now?
Barney: It's a video of a dog pooping on a baby.
Marshall: How do I need to see that? Why would I want to see that? In what possible way could subjecting my eyes and my brain to something that disgusting enrich my life?
Barney: It's a dog pooping on a baby.
Marshall: Get away from my computer.
Barney: Okay, just do a quick Google search for "caca spaniel."