Ted Quote #344
Quote from Ted in I'm Not That Guy
Marshall: It's completely despicable. I know, I know, I sold out for a huge pile of disgusting money, disgusting money that could help our future family have some financial security and could help pay for law school. Law school. Law school that I went to to help protect the environment, not help destroy it. And for what? For, for a lot of money. [screams]
[cut to Marshall still screaming in a booth at MacLaren's:]
Ted: Okay, you've got to stop screaming. Listen, Marshall, you know what I like to do in situations like this?
Marshall: Ted, if you say make a list of pros and cons, I'm going to smack you.
Ted: I wasn't going to say that.
Wendy: Okay, two beers, and Ted, here's that yellow legal pad you asked for.
Ted: Yellow legal pad? I ordered fries. Maybe you should use this to write down people's orders.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘I'm Not That Guy’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: Dude, come on, let's just find Bizarro me and get out of here.
Barney: Oh, oh, I get it. Ted Mosby, non-porn star, thinks this is all crude and disgusting. You know who else was considered crude and disgusting? Shakespeare. But his themes, love, lust, forbidden desire, were universal, which is why his work has stood the test of time. And so will all this. Four hundred years from now, some high school drama class will be doing a plucky, spirited production of Beef Party VII.
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] It was a quiet November afternoon in 2007. I was working from home, because, you know, no distractions.
[Barney rushes into the apartment at the same time Marshall comes out of his bedroom]
Barney: This is incredible!
Marshall: Oh, my God! I can't believe it!
Barney: I have big news!
Marshall: Oh, my God!
Barney: Okay. My thing's pretty huge. But fine, you can go first.
Marshall: Okay, I just found out...
Barney: I just find a porno starring Ted Mosby!
Quote from Ted
Ted: What are you... What you're talking about?
Barney: I'm talking about "Welcome to the Sex Plane", and look who plays the navigator, Ted Mosby.
Ted: Oh, it's the same exact spelling as my name.
Marshall: Okay, you know, cute coincidence, Barney. Whatever. I just got on the phone with the NR...
Ted: Oh my God. This totally explains the thing at my doctor's the other day.
[flashback to Ted at a doctor's office:]
Doctor: Open wide. I guess you're more used to saying that hearing it, huh, Ted Mosby? [laughs]
[back:]
Ted: Who is this guy? And why my doctor watching porn?