Future Ted Quote #75
Quote from Future Ted in How I Met Everyone Else
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, back in the fall of 2007, I was dating this girl named... Oh, God, what was her name? It's been 23 years, I can't remember all this stuff. For the sake of the story, let's call her...
Ted: Everyone, this is Blahblah.
Blahblah: Please call me Blah.
Marshall: So, Blah, how did you two meet?
Blahblah: Well, I was taking this cooking class, French fusion, and everyone already had a partner but then I looked up, and across a crowded room, I saw Ted. It was magical.
Ted: It was so magical. [Ted and Blah kiss]
Future Ted: [v.o.] Except it wasn't.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘How I Met Everyone Else’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: There's no way she's above the line on the hot-crazy scale.
Ted: She's not even on the hot-crazy scale. She's just hot.
Robin: Wait, hot-crazy scale?
Barney: Let me illustrate. A girl is allowed to be crazy, as long as she is equally hot. Thus, if she's this crazy, she has to be this hot. If she's this crazy, she has to be this hot. You want the girl to be above this line, also known as the Vicky Mendoza diagonal. This girl I dated, she played jump rope with that line. She'd shave her head, then lose ten pounds. She'd stab me with a fork, then get a boob job. I should give her a call.
Quote from Marshall
[flashback to Ted, Barney and Marshall in a booth in MacLaren's in 2001:]
Marshall: I'm not gonna cheat on my girlfriend.
[Lily walks in the bar]
Barney: Yes, you are, with the hottie that just walked in. Look at her. How much hotter is she than your girlfriend?
Marshall: There's no comparison. What do you think, Ted? Should I go for it?
Ted: Oh, don't do it, man. I mean, think about Lily.
Marshall: You know what, I don't care. I've been with one woman for too long. I need me some strange.
Barney: Yes, yes, pep talk. You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can't. You're way out of practice and she is way too hot for you. So, remember, tonight isn't about scoring, it's about believing that you can do it even though you probably can't. Go get him, tiger.
[Marshall gets up and heads over to the bar. Ted moves to the other side of the booth and sits next to Barney.]
Barney: Poor guy's gonna crash and burn.
[Marshall walks over to Lily and kisses her]
Barney: [spit take] That man is a god!
[present:]
Marshall: For like a week after, Barney followed me around, asking me to teach him how to live. I even got him to do my laundry once.
Barney: I thought it was a Mr. Miyagi kind of thing.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Well, we're closing in on the half. Let's see how Blahblah's doing on the crazy-hot scale. She started the night here, but as the night's progressed, she's gotten crazier but no hotter which has caused her to drift across the Mendoza diagonal and dangerously close to the Shelley Gillespie zone. Another girl I dated. She gained twenty pounds and tried to kill me with a brick.