Marshall Quote #271
Quote from Marshall in We're Not From Here
Lily: Okay, I'm done. But I really don't want you reading this unless, you know, something happens. Can you swear to me you won't open it?
Marshall: Totally. What does it say?
Lily: Marshall, I'm serious.
Marshall: Okay. I promise I won't, I won't open that until you're dead.
Lily: Okay.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And through 22 wonderful years of marriage, Marshall kept his promise.
[A bald Marshall sits at a desk in the year 2029:]
Future Ted: Until November 1 of last year when, sadly... [Marshall opens the letter]
Lily: [v.o.] "Busted! I knew you'd read this. You suck, Marshall, you totally suck."
Marshall: That's it? I suck? Lily!
Lily: [enters] Yes, you suck. You said you wouldn't read it and you did.
Marshall: Well, you didn't keep your promise either. I don't see any dirty pictures in here.
Lily: Oh, fine, I'll take the dirty pictures.
Marshall: I don't want 'em now.
Lily: What is that supposed to mean?
Marshall: What?! Nothing. Nothing. You're beautiful. I would love the photos. Have I told you how beautiful you look?
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘We're Not From Here’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: New Jersey is not "pretty much New York". You are not "pretty much New Yorkers".
Colleen: And how would you know?
Ted: Because I live here. That's right. I live here. Yes, we're full of crap. Yes, we pretended to be from out of town so we could sleep with you and leave in the morning. But you know what's even worse than that?! Saying you're a New Yorker when you're not. Because, this is the greatest city in the world and you have to earn the right to call yourself a New Yorker. So why don't you girls crawl into the open sewer pipe you call the Holland Tunnel and flush yourselves back to "pretty much New York"? Because I will do a lot to get laid, but I am not going to New Jersey!
Quote from Marshall
Future Ted: [v.o.] That night, Marshall, sat down to write the letter he hoped Lily would never have to read.
Marshall: [v.o.] "My dearest, sweetest, Lilypad. Let this letter be a small beacon, a tiny firefly to help light your way trough the years ahead. My love for you persists, higher than the Himalayas, deeper than a Scottish loch. [sobbing] If I died under suspicious circumstances then beware. Trust no one, not even Ted. Especially not Ted. Know that I'll always be there in your heart, whenever you need me. [sobbing] And my love for you will never die. Love. [sobbing] Your Marshmallow."
Quote from Barney
Robin: I'm evolved, and I'm enjoying living my life a little bit closer to the way Gael and I did in Argentina.
Barney: Please, vacation romances have an expiration date. Gael's got a "best if banged by" sticker on him. Once your romance starts to stink, you'll dump his ass down the drain like sour milk and go back to being "unevolved Robin", the one we actually like.