Marshall: Oh, no. I don't have my vows.
Lily: I don't have mine either.
Ted: You don't need your vows. Just say why you love each other.
Marshall: Okay, I'll go first. Lily, there are a million reasons why I love you. You make me laugh and you take care of me when I'm sick. You're sweet, caring and you even created an egg dish and named it after me. She puts a little Italian dressing in scrambled eggs before she cooks them. It's called "Eggs Marshall," and it's awesome. But the main reason that I love you is that you're my best friend, Lily. You're, uh... you're the best friend I ever had. [to Ted] I'm sorry, buddy.
Ted: No problem.
Barney: It's totally okay.

Lily: So, we've decided on a small, outdoor wedding, just family and close friends. No more than 25 people in a beautiful garden somewhere, maybe an acoustic guitar playing while we walk down the aisle.
Barney: And maybe you already know someone who went down to the courthouse and registered as an officiant so that he or she - he- could perform the ceremony.
Robin: But you hate marriage. Why do you want to perform the ceremony?
Barney: Because it subtly implants in the mind of every woman there that when I ask a question, you say, "I do." Yeah.

Lily: So now, instead of an acoustic guitar, we're having a harp player. Yeah. My dad owes a guy, and... that guy's daughter plays the harp.
Barney: Is she hot? I'd love to be able to cross "harp player" off my list.
Marshall: How long is this list?
Barney: Dude, I'm not gonna count how many pages the list is. I'm not crass.
Lily: Well, it doesn't matter anyway. She's pregnant.
Barney: Sweet! I can cross off two things.