Future Ted Quote #68
Quote from Future Ted in Bachelor Party
Ted: Actually, we're, uh, we're thinking of skipping the strippers.
Barney: You... you want to have a party without strippers.
Future Ted: [v.o.] This was the worse thing I could have said. You see, uncle Barney loved cooking up bachelor parties. And it was always the same recipe. You start with a slightly cramped hotel suite. Arrange the chairs in a circle. Fill them with your closest friends. Turn the heat up to about 90. Pump in a metric ton of cigar smoke. And then, right in the middle of the room, you throw in a girl. But not a beautiful girl. No, if this girl was ever beautiful, it was two kids, three tattoos and one pesky substance abuse problem ago.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Bachelor Party’ Quotes
Quote from Lily
Lily: I can't believe you got me this.
Robin: Oh, I only did it as a joke. I can return it for you you want.
Lily: Oh, no, it's okay. You don't have to go all the way back down there. I'll, I'll just throw it away.
Robin: Well, I mean, if you were going to throw it away, maybe I'll take it in case I get invited to another wedding shower. It's a great gag gift.
Lily: Yeah, it's really funny. You know who would get a kick out of it? Marshall. So, so maybe I'll just hold on to it.
Robin: I would be embarrassed if Marshall found out that I bought it for you, so I'd better just take it.
Lily: Robin, leave it.
Quote from Future Ted
Future Ted: [v.o.] So, when the day arrived, we all climbed into a rented Escalade and set out. Now, every bachelor party is usually made up of the same stock characters. You've got the groom, the best man, the guy who speaks only in clichés...
Stuart: Dead man walking!
Future Ted: ...the guy who disappears at the beginning of the night and doesn't show up again until the end.
Brad: All right, who's up for a little blackjack before we check in.
Barney: No, no, no.
Marshall: None for me.
Ted: See you guys back at the room, then.
Future Ted: And, of course, well... Barney. Every bachelor party has a Barney.
Quote from Robin
Lily: Oh. And this one's from... Grandma Lois.
Grandma Lois: Oh. No, wait, darling. Before you open this, I-I want to say a few words.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Okay, something you need to know. Grandma Lois thought she was giving her granddaughter an antique sewing machine. And we're back in.
Grandma Lois: Honey, this handy little device has been in our family for generations. I used it, your great grandmother used it. Now, her mother didn't use this one, but she used one just like it. Of course, back then, they were made out of wood. And, uh, I guess before that, you just had to do it by hand.
Janice: Would you pass the wine, please?
Robin: No.