Ted: I don't have any other shoes because you stole them along with everything else I own in the world. Where's the truck, Barney?
Barney: Barney. People's whose trucks I'm not holding for ransom call me Barney. I think you should call me The Commodore.
Ted: I'm not calling you...
Barney: You're not getting your stuff back.
Ted: Can I please have my stuff back, The Commodore?
Barney: [chuckles] No. Here's the deal, Ted, you're my bro. And you're about to become a henpecked, beaten down, shell of a man. So tonight, we are going to have one last awesome night together as bros. It's a bro-ing away party. A special bro-casion. A bro-choice rally. Bro-time at the Apollo.
Ted: Oh, bro me.

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: ...if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck. Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. Number six, "Feels On Wheels." Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-boni." And, the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Robin: [on the phone] Hey, sorry about that. Thanks for holding. Um, so if you could go ahead and cancel my subscription to Guns and Ammo, that would be great. No, it's a great magazine. Really great. They've printed three of my letters. It's just that my boyfriend is moving in and he kind of doesn't approve of the whole gun thing. A free hand grenade phone? You know what? Let me give you my work address.