Ted Quote #239
Quote from Ted in Monday Night Football
Barney: Unlock me, Ted. I've never gone this long without calling my bookie. He worries.
Ted: Not until game time.
Barney: Where are you going?
Ted: Pick up the hot wings.
Barney: What? How the hell are you planning on getting in and out of a sports bar without seeing the score? There's TVs everywhere.
Ted: Ah, don't worry. I got it all planned out. First of all: I placed duct tape on a pair of sunglasses so I can only see out of two tiny holes. Next, I constructed blinders out of an old cereal box. Top it all off: high-tech noise-reducing headphones I bought when Marshall and Lily first got back together and were doing it a lot. I call it the Sensory Deprivator 5000.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Monday Night Football’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: [enters, on the phone] Seriously, that's the last time I'm gonna call you today. Okay. Good-bye. You didn't hang up either! I know! You hang up! You hang up! My bookie. Great guy.
Ted: So let me get this straight. A funeral is the one time you don't suit up?
Barney: Have I taught you nothing, Ted?
Ted: Virtually.
Barney: Suits are full of joy. They're the sartorial equivalent of a baby's smile.
Ted: "Sartorial"?
Barney: "Of or pertaining to tailors or their trade." Suits are for the living. That's why when it's my time to R.I.P. I'm going out of this world the same way I came into it buck naked. Yeah. It's gonna be awesome. Open bar for the guys, open casket for the ladies. What up?!
[Barney holds his hand up for a high-five. A giggling Marshall is the only one to accept]
Quote from Marshall
Future Ted: [v.o.] Weeks earlier, Marshall had promised Lily he'd come into her kindergarten class for show-and-tell day.
Lily: And he's a little bit double-jointed. And his favorite animal is the Loch Ness monster.
Marshall: Lily, how many times...? Nessie is a gentle creature. We're trying to stay away from terms like "monster."
Quote from Future Ted
Future Ted: [v.o.] And here's the funny part, as unforgettable as that Super Bowl was, here it is 23 years later and I don't remember who won... Hell, I don't even remember who played. What I do remember is that we drank beer, we ate wings and we watched the Super Bowl together. Because sometimes, even if you know how something's going to end, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride. We even raised a toast to good old Mike. I mean Mark. Matt. Crap! Why do I keep doing that?