Barney: Paint me.
Lily: Okay, I don't get this. You've been making fun of that painting all this time and now you want me to paint you?
Barney: We knew we could torture Marshall because he has shame. I do not. In my body, where the shame gland should be, there's a second awesome gland. True story.
Lily: Yeah, that's not the gland I'm worried about painting.
Barney: [laughs] Yeah.

Ted: Oh, my God. This is awesome times awesome. It's awesome squared.

Lily: Okay, let's get this over with.
Barney: Hey, hey! I don't want you phoning this in. This painting could, someday, become a serious work of art. I mean, you have been blessed with an amazing gift.
Lily: Thank you.
Barney: I meant me. Now, I like how you captured Marshall's essence. Goofy and unburdened, with wit. But me, I want something more regal. Something my progeny could look at and say, "There's stands Barnabus Stinson." He was wise... [picks up sword] and strong.
Lily: I don't think your sword will fit.
Barney: I get that a lot.