Marshall Quote #193

Quote from Marshall in First Time in New York

Lily: Marshall, why is this such a big deal?
Marshall: Why is this such a big deal? Oh, uh, sorry, Christopher Columbus, guess who actually discovered the New World. Some dude named Scooter. Oh, uh, Neil Armstrong, it actually goes like this: "One small step for man, one giant leap for Scooter." Whoa, hey, Adam, guess who got with Eve before you did...

Rate

 ‘First Time in New York’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Lily: Speaking of first times, we never got to hear your virginity story.
Marshall: That's right, I almost forgot.
Barney: Okay. I was 16, and it was in a baseball dugout...
Marshall: Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Barney: I mean, I was in a subway with a high-priced call girl...
Ted: Risky Business.
Barney: I was accidentally hacking into NORAD'S computer...
Ted: That's War Games, and there's not even a sex scene in it.
Barney: All right! I was 23, and it was with my mom's 45-year-old divorced friend, Rhonda. She called me "Barry" the whole time, and for two weeks, my comforter smelled like menthol cigarettes. You happy?

Quote from Barney

Marshall: Hey, why don't you tell us again about your first time at the camp in the Catskills.
Barney: Baby and her family spent every summer at Kellerman's. Her dad did not approve of our love.
Ted: Did anyone put Baby in a corner?
Barney: Oh, God, no. What can I say, I had the time of my life. True story.

 Marshall Eriksen Quotes

Quote from The Final Page (Part 2)

Marshall: Oh, I forgot the lullaby. Do you know Marvin's lullaby? We sing it to him every night.
[flashback to Marshall playing guitar and singing to Marvin with Lily adding percussion:]
Marshall: Night, night, little Marvin Stars twinkle for you [Lily plays chimes] The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' [Lily blows train whistle] All your dreams will come true And the horsie says, "Good night" [Lily plays wood scraper block] And the birdie says, "Good night" [Lily blows bird whistle] And the elephant says, "Good night" [Lily plays tuba] And the skeleton playing his own rib cage Says, "Good Night" [Lily plays xylophone] And the robot says, "Good night"
Lily: [uses a voice-changing megaphone] Good night.
Man: [o.s.] Enough with the damn music!
Marshall: [singing] And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" And the whole world says, "Good night" Take it, Mommy.
[Lily plays the violin]

Quote from Bagpipes

Barney: Hey, tiger. How you holding up? Do you need a hug? You want to talk about yesterday? Safe space.
Ted: Barney thinks Lily asking you to wash your dishes right away is a sign your marriage is crumbling.
Marshall: What? Why? Lily likes a clean sink, so I do the dishes right away, what's the big deal?
Barney: I'll tell you what the big deal is. You know how I was always the best at being single?
Ted: No.
Barney: Well, now I am the best at relationships. Even better than you and Lily.
Marshall: Aw. Look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes, you think you can play with the big boys, adorable. Son, I've been in a relationship since you had a ponytail and were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio. I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other that would make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but thanks for your concern, rook.