Ted Quote #194
Ted: You were never married.
Robin: Yes, I was.
Ted: No, you weren't.
Robin: How do you know?
Ted: I looked it up at the library.
Robin: What library?
Ted: The one on 5th.
Robin: When did you go?
Ted: Today at lunch. And I had a an apple brie panini with potato salad....
Robin: I'm not questioning the lunch part, Ted. What database did you use?
Ted: I used the Canadian Mall Marriage 6000. [off Robin's look] Fine, Marshall looked it up in school.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Slap Bet’ Quotes
Quote from Robin
[Robin plays the video:]
Robin Sparkles: I know, how about I sing you a song! [singing] Let's go the mall everybody! Come on, Jessica. Come on, Tori.
Robin: I was a teenage pop star in Canada.
Robin Sparkles: Put on your jelly bracelets And your cool graffiti coat. At the mall, having fun Is what it's all about.
Lily: This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
Marshall: That's you?
Robin: Yes. I had one minor hit. I had to go all over Canada and sing this song in malls. For a whole year I lived off of Orange Juliuses and Wetzel's Pretzels.
Robin Sparkles: Everybody come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall, today.
Marshall: This is the 90s. Why does it look like 1986?
Robin: The 80s didn't come to Canada till like '93.
Quote from Robin
Robin Sparkles: [singing on video] Everybody come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall, [laughs] today!
Barney: Did you have to laugh like that every time?
Robin: Yes.
Robin Sparkles: There's this boy I like. Met him at the food court. He's got hair like Gretzky and he does jumps on his skateboard. I hope he asks me out. Take me to my favorite spot. It'll be just him and me.
Robot: But don't forget the robot.
Marshall: The robot! Hey!
[Marshall and Robin high five]
Robin Sparkles: But, baby, I don't wanna wait.
Ted: No, she doesn't wanna wait.
Robin Sparkles: I'm gonna rock your body anyway. I'm going to rock your body 'til Canada Day. Everybody, come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall, today! Today, today, today, today. Let's go to the mall (today). Let's go to the mall (today)...
Quote from Marshall
Lily: What the hell's a slap bet?
Marshall: Whoever's right gets to slap the other person in the face as hard as they possibly can, but no rings.
Lily: Are you really gonna do that? That's so immature.
Marshall: You can be Slap Bet Commissioner.
Lily: Oh, I love it. What are my powers?
Marshall: Um, if a problem arises and we need a ruling, that's your job.
Barney: But you have to be unbiased and put the integrity of slap bet above all else. This is an honor you will take with you to your grave. On your tombstone, it will read "Lily Aldrin, caring wife, loving friend, Slap Bet Commissioner."
Marshall: And your tombstone will read, "got slapped by Marshall so hard, he died."