Ted: I wish I could join you guys, but I got to get back to my apparently boring job.
Marshall: Your job's not boring.
Ted: Robin thinks so.
Barney: Dude, lots of chicks think architects are hot. Think about it, you create something out of nothing. You're like God. There's nobody hotter than God.
Ted: I love it when you quote scripture.

[As Anna reads the letter that Barney left behind:]
Barney: "Dear Resident... The time we spent together, however long it was, meant the world to me. I would love to see you again, but unfortunately, I cannot. You see, I am a ghost. I can't only materialize once every decade on the anniversary of my death. I chose to spend my one day among the living with you, sweet resident. Perhaps we will meet again in another decade, provided you keep your figure. Until then, all my love from the beyond. Barney."
Anna: Barney? Who the hell is Barney?

Barney: I'm telling you, you should use the architect angle with the ladies.
Ted: Okay, first of all, I have a girlfriend. Second, the architect angle doesn't even work on her. And, third, I can't imagine that working on anyone ever.
Barney: That's 'cause you're always like... [flatly] "Ted Mosby, architect". If it were me, I'd be like... [boasting] "Ted Mosby, architect". Anything sounds impressive when it's said with the right attitude.