Barney Quote #209
Quote from Barney in The Scorpion and the Toad
Barney: Let's review Barney's rules for mating without dating. Lesson two: corollary five.
Marshall: Make a beautiful woman feel self-conscious and unattractive and she'll be putty in your hands.
Barney: Excellent. Have you chosen your entrée?
Marshall: I have. A sweet brunette, eight o'clock. Nine o'clock. Ten... thirty. She's walking to the bar.
Barney: Her? Really? No, you're right. Ambition is the enemy of success. OK, hit it.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Scorpion and the Toad’ Quotes
Quote from Lily
Marshall: And the pizza there. Worst pizza ever! I'm so glad to be back in New York.
Marshall: Yeah.
Lily: Listen, if there is anything I can do to even begin to make things up to you.
Marshall: Actually, there's maybe something you can do for me. But you can never ever ask me why.
[cut to MacLaren's, where Barney is still with the twins:]
Barney: So then, I was promoted to assistant ménage-er. Manager. Why do I keep doing that? [Lily arrives] Lily?
Lily: You gave me chlamydia, you jerk! [throws a drink at Barney]
Barney: So, where was I? Ah yes. Assistant ménage-er. I did it again. I can't believe it!
[Lily returns wearing a hat]
Lily: You gave my twin sister chlamydia, you slime! [throws another drink]
Barney: Wait, wait, I know magic. Well played, Eriksen. Well played.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Dude, you were awesome last night. You were charming, you were funny. You were totally working that girl.
Marshall: You went home with her!
Barney: Yes, I did. But she told me that if it wasn't for me, you would've had a shot with her. So in hypothetical terms, you scored last night! All right! Hypothetical high five! ... Nice!
Quote from Barney
Barney: Marshall, being a single guy in New York city is like... Pfff... What's something everybody likes?
Marshall: Candy.
Barney: Yeah! It's like being in a candy store. You just walk right in and grab yourself some Whoppers. Yeah. Is Whoppers the best ones?
Ted: Mounds.
Barney: Milk Duds.
Ted: Gobstoppers.
Barney: Um...
Future Ted: [v.o.] This went on for another hour. I'll just skip to the end.
Ted: Dubble Bubbles.
Barney: Nice!