Ted Quote #119

Quote from Ted in Milk

Future Ted: [v.o.] And so, one $90 cab ride later, I was in the middle of nowhere.
Lily: Oh, thank God. I'm so sorry about this. Did you get ahold of your date?
Ted: Yes.
Lily: And was she okay about pushing it back?
Ted: Yes. Because she's perfect. So what am I doing here?
Lily: You can never tell Marshall.
Ted: I won't.
Lily: Ever. Swear. Swear on the lives of your unborn boy and girl.
Ted: I swear on Luke and Leia.

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 ‘Milk’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Barney: Uh, excuse me, has anyone ever told y... Oh, my God.
Woman: What?
Barney: Oh! Call an ambulance!
Woman: What's going on?
Barney: Try not to speak. Here, sit down. Just don't talk, don't talk.
Waitress: Is she okay?
Barney: I'm serious, call 911.
Woman: What's wrong? What's the matter?
Barney: Shh! Shh! Just don't move. Don't move. Just try... Here, have some water. Water! Here, drink this. Shh! Shh!
Robin: You know, the more I watch this, the less convinced I am that it's the greatest pickup line of all time.
Ted: Wait for it.

Quote from Marshall

Ted: All right, so, Barney, are you doing this or what?
Robin: Oh, geez, Barney, don't do this.
Barney: I have to, it's my birthday present to Ted.
Marshall: You don't have to. Please, it's going to be embarrassing and we're going to have to stop coming here, which will suck. In addition to probably being kind of healthy.
Ted: Come on, Marshall, it's the greatest pickup line of all time. Barney.
Marshall: Oy, gevalt.

Quote from Future Ted

Lily: 28. Two more 'til the big one, three-oh.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Actually, my 30th birthday wasn't so bad. Well, except for the goat in my bathroom. Which is a great story. But I'll get to that later.