Lily Quote #78
Quote from Lily in Mary the Paralegal
Marshall: [telepathically] Lily, I know you're asleep, but I have to tell someone this, and we tell each other everything. So, here it goes. Mary's not a paralegal. She's a prostitute.
Lily: [waking up] Mary's a prostitute?
Robin: What?!
Marshall: Barney paid for her.
Lily: Is that true?
Marshall: We were having a conversation about prostitution, and then Barney calls her up and then she shows up at the bar and now she and Ted are upstairs.
Robin: Okay, seriously, what is going on with Ted lately? Is he having a nervous breakdown?
Lily: You know, Barney, for anyone else, this would be a new low, but sadly, for you, it's just a new middle.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Mary the Paralegal’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: I haven't seen her in three weeks. She won't return my calls. Look, I shouldn't go.
Marshall: You should definitely go. Look, it's a chance to show her you're still friends and that you support her.
Barney: Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter. Even better, triple threat: hotter and bigger boobs.
Ted: That's only two.
Barney: Count again.
Quote from Lily
Robin: You okay?
Lily: Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm just exhausted from work. The stupid school board took away nap time in all kindergarten classes and now the kids are just going crazy by the end of the day. It's much harder to deal with because, well, I don't get my nap.
Robin: Wait, you were taking naps when the kids were? Is that safe?
Lily: Well, they're only five. What are they gonna do to me?
Quote from Ted
Ted: Well, it's getting late. I should get back to my room.
Barney: Your room?
Ted: Yeah, that really expensive hotel room you put on your credit card-- never checked out. By the way, you know what's super fun? Pouring Dom Perignon down a bathtub drain. Well, it's almost 3:00. Got a massage. Toodles. [exits]
Marshall: Come on, if you don't laugh, it just seems mean.