Barney Quote #164
Quote from Barney in Mary the Paralegal
Barney: Ted, you need a lady. And I've got the next best thing, Mary. She lives in my building. She's smart, she's hot, she's totally cool.
Ted: Oh, she sounds great. And who knows? Maybe we'll wind up getting married someday. You know, if we can get a blessing from her pimp.
Barney: You want to judge a fellow human being based solely on one external characteristic? That's racism. And I do not drink with racists. Good day. [long silence]
Ted: You're just waiting for me to speak, so you can interrupt...
Barney: I said good day!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Mary the Paralegal’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Ted: I haven't seen her in three weeks. She won't return my calls. Look, I shouldn't go.
Marshall: You should definitely go. Look, it's a chance to show her you're still friends and that you support her.
Barney: Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter. Even better, triple threat: hotter and bigger boobs.
Ted: That's only two.
Barney: Count again.
Quote from Lily
Robin: You okay?
Lily: Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm just exhausted from work. The stupid school board took away nap time in all kindergarten classes and now the kids are just going crazy by the end of the day. It's much harder to deal with because, well, I don't get my nap.
Robin: Wait, you were taking naps when the kids were? Is that safe?
Lily: Well, they're only five. What are they gonna do to me?
Quote from Ted
Ted: Well, it's getting late. I should get back to my room.
Barney: Your room?
Ted: Yeah, that really expensive hotel room you put on your credit card-- never checked out. By the way, you know what's super fun? Pouring Dom Perignon down a bathtub drain. Well, it's almost 3:00. Got a massage. Toodles. [exits]
Marshall: Come on, if you don't laugh, it just seems mean.