[flashback:]
Future Ted: [v.o.] When your Uncle Marshall was ten years old, he read a book called Life Among the Gorillas. It was written by an anthropologist named Dr. Aurelia Birnholz-Vazquez, it told the story of the year she spent living among the Western Lowland Gorillas of Cameroon. When Dr. Birnholz-Vazquez came to the local community college to give a lecture, Marshall, the youngest member of the audience, raised his hand with a question.
Marshall: What advice do you have for a budding anthropologist?
Dr. Birnholz-Vasquez: So you want to be an anthropologist?
Marshall: Yep. When I grow up, I want to go live with the gorillas, just like you did.
Future Ted: What she said next changed his life.
Dr. Birnholz-Vasquez: Oh, that's wonderful, but I'm afraid you can't. They'll all be dead by then...