Barney: [to Marshall] Look at us, two guys in suits. You feel that slight tingle? That's every girl in the bar wanting you, and every guy wanting to be you. Actually, it's mostly me, but you're getting some of the splash.

Ted: Guys, I'm kind of screwed here. I don't want to lose Victoria, but I can't ask her to stay just for me. And long distance definitely isn't an option.
Marshall: No. No, no, no. No way. You know who likes long distance? Girls. It's all talking and no sex. Kill me now.
Barney: Don't knock long-distance relationships. I really think they can work.
Ted: Really? You?
Barney: Absolutely. I'm juggling four right now. There's Lisa in Madrid, there's Erica in Tokyo, there's Laura in Denmark, and Kelly on 34th Street. [Irish accent] The lass thinks I'm a humble sheep shearer from Killarney.

Ted: Wait. Germany, Europe?
Victoria: It's for two years. I figured I didn't have much of a chance, 'cause they don't let many Americans in, but... I'm in.
Ted: So, this is the Europe Germany?
Victoria: What other Germany would it be?
Ted: The one in Epcot?