Ted: I don't feel so good. It's like my testicles mixed pop rocks and soda.

Lily: We're going to the Berkshires for the maple syrup harvest.
Marshall: It's one of New York Magazine's "top five romantic getaways on a budget." Who says sexual can't be sensible?

Marshall: I can't believe she's making you wait a whole month. I would never put up with that.
Ted: You've only had sex with one girl in your whole life.
Lily: Burn!