Ted Quote #71
Quote from Ted in The Wedding
Ted: But I already invited someone.
Claudia: You are not bringing a guest, Ted. The guest list has been closed for months. Months!
Ted: But I checked 'plus one'. I always check 'plus one'.
Claudia: You absolutely did not check 'plus one'. If you had checked 'plus one', I would have called you to get the name of your guest so I could get the guest cards printed up. Did I call you to get the name of your guest? Is there a place card with her name card printed on it?
Ted: She doesn't need a place card, she knows her name.
Claudia: What's she eating? You ordered the chicken, what did she order? Do you see how your story is full of holes?
Ted: Come on, Claudia, we go way back. Isn't there room for just one more person?
Claudia: Don't make me hurt you, Ted.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Wedding’ Quotes
Quote from Lily
Lily: Claudia is getting married tomorrow and so help me God, if I catch you even so much as breathing the same air as her, I will take those peanuts you try to pass off as testicles and I will squeeze them so hard your eyes pop out and then I'll feed them to you like grapes.
Barney: Wait, my eyes or my testicles?
Lily: One of each.
Barney: All right, all right.
Quote from Marshall
Ted: I did it. I did it. I'm taking her to the wedding.
Lily: Nice.
Marshall: What? How?
Ted: I talked to Stuart.
Marshall: Oh, you went around the bride. "Oh, this hornet's nest looks harmless. Maybe I'll poke it with a stick. Oh, look, some gremlins, let me go feed them after midnight."
Quote from Future Ted
Future Ted: [v.o.] When you're single and your friends start to get married, every wedding invitation presents a strange moment of self-evaluation. Will you be bringing a guest or will you be attending alone? What it's really asking is: where do you see yourself in three months? Sitting next to your girlfriend or hitting on a bridesmaid? I always checked that I was bringing a guest. I was an optimist.