Ted Quote #63

Quote from Ted in The Pineapple Incident

Trudy: I liked your performance.
Ted: What? The karaoke? Domo arigato.
Trudy: I wish I had your guts, getting up and making a complete idiot of myself.
Ted: Do it.
Trudy: I don't know. Still, I've had a pretty serious week. I could sure stand to do something stupid.
Ted: I'm something stupid, do me.
Trudy: You're funny.
Ted: Hey, can I call you sometime?
Trudy: OK. [Ted gets his phone out, Trudy takes it] Here, let me.
Ted: Why do they call it karaoke anyhow? Was it invented by a woman named Carrie Okie? These are the kinds of things I think about.
Trudy: Karaoke is Japanese for empty orchestra.
Ted: That's hauntingly beautiful.

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 ‘The Pineapple Incident’ Quotes

Quote from Ted

Carl: If he pukes, one of you guys cleans it up.
Lily: No dibs.
Marshall: Oh.
Barney: No... Dammit!
Ted: How quickly you all forget. I haven't puked since high school. I am vomit-free since ninety-three. Vomit free since ninety-three. That's funny. I'm funny.

Quote from Marshall

Ted: We're not really doing shots, are we?
Lily: I hope not.
Barney: No, no.
Lily: These look kinda like blood.
Marshall: Okay, I know that you've all dismissed this theory before, but is there any chance that Carl is a vampire?
Barney: That's ridiculous.
Marshall: I'm serious. Think about it. He always wears black, we never see him in the daylight, only after dark.
Robin: Oh my God, that does describe a vampire. Or you know, a bartender.

Quote from Robin

Robin: Well, I should go get dressed.
Ted: Where are you going, buddy? Hot date?
Lily: I'll say, she's going out with a billionaire.
Robin: Lily, I told you not to call him that.
Ted: Wait, you're really going out with a billionaire?
Robin: He's not a billionaire. He's a hundred millionaire. Why do people always round up?