Barney Quote #88
Quote from Barney in Belly Full of Turkey
Barney: Okay, Ted, I found a way for you to help someone, to do some good. This is Walter, and Walter is homeless. And Walter would like a lap dance.
Ted: Are you joking?
Barney: I never joke about the sublime art of burlesque entertainment.
Ted: No, Barney, that's insane. Sir, would you like me to buy you a ticket to the buffet.
Walter: No, I'm stuffed. Just a lap dance would be fine.
Barney: Ted, Walter's been to three shelter dinners. You know where he hasn't been? To heaven with Samantha. Look, it's the one chance you've had all day to help someone in need. Now buy this man a lap dance.
Robin: You said you wanted to see the joy in someone's eyes.
Ted: You know, I don't think I'm gonna watch. Here you go, Walter. Happy Thanksgiving.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Belly Full of Turkey’ Quotes
Quote from Robin
Robin: Wait, so you're not going home for Thanksgiving.
Ted: No, I have to work on Friday. You?
Robin: I'm Canadian, remember? We celebrate Thanksgiving in October.
Ted: Oh, right, I forgot you guys are weird. You pronounce the word out, "oot".
Robin: You guys are the world's leader in handgun violence, your healthcare system is bankrupt and your country is deeply divided on almost every important issue.
Ted: Your cops are called Mounties. [chuckles]
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, this is a Thanksgiving story. Thanksgiving in New York is a wonderful time. It's a time for giving of yourself, for thinking of your fellow man, a time when the unforgiving city becomes a little kinder.
Lily: Well, I just ralphed.
Robin: How much did you guys drink last night?
Ted: Not how much? What.
[flashback:]
Barney: The Thankstini. A fun and delicious new novelty drink I invented. Cranberry juice, potato vodka and a bouillon cube. Tastes just like a turkey dinner.
Marshall: It's like Thanksgiving in my mouth.
[back:]
Ted: You want a good holiday drink, try his Kwanzaapolitan.
Quote from Lily
Lily: No, I've decided and I'm keeping my own name.
Marvin Sr.: But Eriksen is a great last name. People know the Eriksen's.
Lily: Oh, sure, in St. Cloud but our kids aren't gonna be growing up in St. Cloud. Right, baby?
Marshall: Why not St. Cloud? I mean, I loved growing up St. Cloud. St. Cloud is a great place to have a childhood.
Lily: Oh, so is New York.
[All the Eriksens laugh]
Lily: What? It is. And we grew up just fine. And we grew to the proper size and then we stopped.