Robin: Wait, so you're not going home for Thanksgiving.
Ted: No, I have to work on Friday. You?
Robin: I'm Canadian, remember? We celebrate Thanksgiving in October.
Ted: Oh, right, I forgot you guys are weird. You pronounce the word out, "oot".
Robin: You guys are the world's leader in handgun violence, your healthcare system is bankrupt and your country is deeply divided on almost every important issue.
Ted: Your cops are called Mounties. [chuckles]

Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, this is a Thanksgiving story. Thanksgiving in New York is a wonderful time. It's a time for giving of yourself, for thinking of your fellow man, a time when the unforgiving city becomes a little kinder.
Lily: Well, I just ralphed.
Robin: How much did you guys drink last night?
Ted: Not how much? What.
[flashback:]
Barney: The Thankstini. A fun and delicious new novelty drink I invented. Cranberry juice, potato vodka and a bouillon cube. Tastes just like a turkey dinner.
Marshall: It's like Thanksgiving in my mouth.
[back:]
Ted: You want a good holiday drink, try his Kwanzaapolitan.

Lily: No, I've decided and I'm keeping my own name.
Marvin Sr.: But Eriksen is a great last name. People know the Eriksen's.
Lily: Oh, sure, in St. Cloud but our kids aren't gonna be growing up in St. Cloud. Right, baby?
Marshall: Why not St. Cloud? I mean, I loved growing up St. Cloud. St. Cloud is a great place to have a childhood.
Lily: Oh, so is New York.
[All the Eriksens laugh]
Lily: What? It is. And we grew up just fine. And we grew to the proper size and then we stopped.