Barney Quote #76
Robin: For the record, your little lemon law is a symbol of everything that's wrong with our no-attention-span society.
Barney: No, wrong, Lemon Law is awesome.
Robin: It takes longer than five minutes to really get to know someone. You keep giving up on people so quickly, you're gonna miss out on something great.
Barney: Okay, you're on a blind date, sitting across the table is that guy. You really think it'll take more than five minutes to realize there will be no date number two?
Robin: Yes I do. For all I know, that guy's my soul-mate.
Barney: Oh, bad move, Scherbatsky. [to the geeky guy] Hi, have you met Robin?
Features in the collection: Have you met... Ted?.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Have you met... Ted?’
Quote from James in Single Stamina
Future Ted: [v.o.] Yeah, Barney and James together was a lethal combination. Since there was never any crossover in targets, James was always there for Barney with the assist.
[flashback to James and Barney at MacLaren's]:
James: [to a woman] Whoa. Your scarf... it is fierce!
Woman: Thanks. H&M.
James: What? I would never know, 'cause it is so hot that my eyes are melting. Oh, I can't see. Hey! You know, speaking of things that would look good wrapped around you, have you met my straight brother, Barney? Oh, he is fab...don't you go nowhere...ulous. Okay?
Quote from Barney in Purple Giraffe
Barney: Exactly! Ted, let's wrap. Statistic: at every New York party there's always a girl who has no idea whose party she's at. She knows no one you know, and you will never see her again. Do you see... where I'm going... hu-with this?
Ted: Barney, I don't wanna say.
Barney: Argh! Scoping, beep, scoping, beep!
Lily: Man you're a dork.
Barney: Beep, beep, beep, beep. Target acquired! And now it's time we play a little game I like to call "Have You Met Ted?"
Ted: No, come on not this.
Barney: [taps woman] Hi! Have you met Ted?
‘The Duel’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: Katie's here. Okay, real quick, last night, epiphany! I realized what the world of dating needs. Ready? A lemon law.
Robin: A lemon law, like for cars.
Barney: Exactly. From the moment the date begins you have five minutes to decide whether you're going to commit to an entire evening. And if you don't, it's no hard feelings just "Good night, thanks for playing, see you never." Huh? Huh? The Lemon Law. It's gonna be a thing. Possibly starting right now.
Quote from Barney
Barney: So, anyway, I was on date with this girl, Jackie.
[flashback to MacLaren's:]
Barney: Wow, Jackie, you make a really great first impression. I have a feeling that tonight you might end up being Jackie... Oh!
Jackie: Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to lemon law you.
[back:]
Barney: It's out there, it's a thing. The lemon law is a thing. Damn, I should have called it Barney's law.
Quote from Lily
Ted: Chinese restaurant, I still don't believe it.
Lily: I told you. Okay, a toast. Life is full of changes. One day you have an apartment, the next day it's a house of dumplings. But the important stuff doesn't change. To the important stuff.
All: Cheers.
Barney: And to the lemon law. Self-clink.
Lily: And by the way, I bought these glasses. I bought them at Ikea. These are my glasses.
Marshall: I love this song. I haven't heard this in forever.
Lily: I'm pretty sure this is a mixed tape you made me in sophomore year.
Robin: Lily, your apartment makes the best Shanghai dumplings.
Marshall: [on tape] I love you, Lily. Happy Valentine's Day 1998.