Barney Quote #65

Quote from Barney in Matchmaker

Barney: Ted, hurry, you gotta help me. My boat is sinking.
Ted: What?
Barney: My boat is sinking.
Ted: You have a boat?
Barney: Yes, I bought a boat last year at a police auction. I just got a call from a guy down at the marina that it's leaning starboard at a 45 degree angle. If I don't get there right now, it's gonna capsize. Now, come on!
[cut to Ted and Barney in the dating agency's office]
Ted: Your boat is sinking. That was good.
Barney: Come on, Ted, this is an incredible opportunity. We'll meet our soulmates, nail 'em and never call them again.

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 ‘Matchmaker’ Quotes

Quote from Lily

Barney: So did you get a good look at it?
Lily: Yeah. It has six legs, a hard exoskeleton like a roach...
Marshall: But it has mouse-like characteristics. Grey-brown tufts of fur, a tail.
Robin: So which is it, a cockroach or a mouse?
Lily: It's a cockamouse.

Quote from Ted

Ted: I'm not going to a matchmaker. That's like giving up. It's the man version of getting a cat.

Quote from Barney

Barney: We're signing up.
Ted: What?
Barney: Ted, these chicks are desperate and hot. That's a perfect cocktail. Shake well, then sleep with.