Barney: [enters, on the phone] Seriously, that's the last time I'm gonna call you today. Okay. Good-bye. You didn't hang up either! I know! You hang up! You hang up! My bookie. Great guy.
Ted: So let me get this straight. A funeral is the one time you don't suit up?
Barney: Have I taught you nothing, Ted?
Ted: Virtually.
Barney: Suits are full of joy. They're the sartorial equivalent of a baby's smile.
Ted: "Sartorial"?
Barney: "Of or pertaining to tailors or their trade." Suits are for the living. That's why when it's my time to R.I.P. I'm going out of this world the same way I came into it buck naked. Yeah. It's gonna be awesome. Open bar for the guys, open casket for the ladies. What up?!
[Barney holds his hand up for a high-five. A giggling Marshall is the only one to accept]

Barney: Ted, oh my gosh, I love this moment. You know why? Because I'm gonna say it and this time you're actually gonna say yes. You ready? You ready to say yes? Ted, suit up!
Ted: Yes! No.
Barney: Oh, come on!

Ted: Barney. What, you're back?
Barney: That's right.
Ted: In a totally new costume.
Barney: Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume in case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way I have a second chance to make a first impression.

Barney: You know what I love about Halloween? It's the one night of the year chicks use to unleash their inner ho-bag. If a girl dresses up as she a witch, she's a slutty witch. If she's a cat, she's a slutty cat. If she's a nurse...
Lily: Wow, we get it.
Barney: She's a slutty nurse.

[flashback:]
Ted: I just met the perfect woman. She's funny. She's beautiful. She loves Star Wars.
Marshall: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's her take on Ewoks?
Ted: Loves them.
Marshall: Oh good. I don't know why people are so cynical about Ewoks. The Rebellion would have failed without the Ewoks.
Ted: Get this, she's a marine biologist. She spent a year in Antarctica studying penguins.
Marshall: Oh, penguins are cool, kinda like black and white Ewoks. I approve.