Barney: [enters, on the phone] Seriously, that's the last time I'm gonna call you today. Okay. Good-bye. You didn't hang up either! I know! You hang up! You hang up! My bookie. Great guy.
Ted: So let me get this straight. A funeral is the one time you don't suit up?
Barney: Have I taught you nothing, Ted?
Ted: Virtually.
Barney: Suits are full of joy. They're the sartorial equivalent of a baby's smile.
Ted: "Sartorial"?
Barney: "Of or pertaining to tailors or their trade." Suits are for the living. That's why when it's my time to R.I.P. I'm going out of this world the same way I came into it buck naked. Yeah. It's gonna be awesome. Open bar for the guys, open casket for the ladies. What up?!
[Barney holds his hand up for a high-five. A giggling Marshall is the only one to accept]

Barney: Ted, oh my gosh, I love this moment. You know why? Because I'm gonna say it and this time you're actually gonna say yes. You ready? You ready to say yes? Ted, suit up!
Ted: Yes! No.
Barney: Oh, come on!

Barney: I see what this is about. Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met?
[flashback:]
Barney: Ted, I'm going to teach you how to live. [off Ted's look] Barney, we met at the urinal.
Ted: Oh, right. Hi.
Barney: Lesson one, lose the goatee. It doesn't look good with your suit.
Ted: I'm not wearing a suit.
Barney: Lesson two, get a suit. Suits are cool. Exhibit A. Lesson three, don't even think about getting married till you're... thirty.

Lily: We're coming with you.
Ted: Barney?
Barney: Alright, but under one condition.
[cut to:]
Barney: Look at you, you beautiful bastard, you suited up! This is totally going in my blog!

Ted: Okay. Moment of truth. Wish me luck.
Barney: Ted's gonna get it on with a TV reporter. "This just in." Okay... [raises hand for a high-five]