TV Quotes

[2020:]
Ted: [v.o.] Aunt Lily wasn't wrong. It was at times a long, difficult road. But I'm glad it was long and difficult, because if I hadn't gone through hell to get there, the lesson might not have been as clear. You see, kids, right from the moment I met your mom, I knew... I have to love this woman as much as I can for as long as I can, and I can never stop loving her, not even for a second. I carried that lesson with me through every stupid fight we ever had, every 5:00 a.m. Christmas morning, every sleepy Sunday afternoon. Through every speed bump, every pang of jealousy or boredom or uncertainty that came our way, I carried that lesson with me. And I carried it with me when she got sick. Even then, in what can only be called the worst of times, all I could do was thank God. Thank every god there is, or ever was, or will be, and the whole universe, and anyone else I can possibly thank... that I saw that beautiful girl on that train platform, and that I had the guts to stand up, walk over to her, tap her on the shoulder, open my mouth, and speak.

[2030:]
Ted: Okay, suppose I were interested in Aunt Robin in that way, it's not like I'd do anything about it. I got you guys to think about.
Daughter: Dad, we love Aunt Robin.
Son: Whenever she comes over for dinner, you guys are so obvious.
Daughter: Come on, Dad. Mom's been gone for six years now. It's time.
Ted: What, I just... just call her up on the phone and ask her out on a date?
Both: Yes.
Ted: And that... that's something you guys would want?
Both: Yes!
Ted: All right, I'll give her a call.
Daughter: Do it.
Ted: I am.
Son: Call her.
Ted: I'm calling her.
Daughter: Great.
Ted: Here I go. Or...
[elsewhere, Robin arrives home with five dogs]
Robin: Alright, home sweet home. Wait one second. Okay. Okay. Stay. Ah. We'll work on that. [intercom beeps] Television, display front door security. Television, dis... Oh, for Pete's sakes.
Robin: Television, display front door security. Television, dis... Oh, for Pete's sakes.
[Robin opens the window and looks down to the street. Ted is standing there. He holds up the blue french horn. Robin smiles.]
[title: how i met your mother]

[flashback to Marshall arriving at the apartment as Ted stacks books on a shelf:]
Marshall: Hey. What's that?
Ted: A 1986 World Book encyclopaedia. [en-sahy-kluh-pay-dee-uh] It's exactly the one I grew up with.
Marshall: Encyclopaedia?
Ted: Oh, you think it should be pronounced encyclo-pee-dia. It's a common mistake. But if you look at that squished together "ae" symbol in this here encyclopaedia, you'll learn that it's a ligature derived from the Anglo-Saxon rune...
[The bookshelves collapse, ripping off a portion of plasterboard and exposing the building's red brick walls]
Marshall: You know, you're gonna have to paedia for that.

Ted: New Jersey is not "pretty much New York". You are not "pretty much New Yorkers".
Colleen: And how would you know?
Ted: Because I live here. That's right. I live here. Yes, we're full of crap. Yes, we pretended to be from out of town so we could sleep with you and leave in the morning. But you know what's even worse than that?! Saying you're a New Yorker when you're not. Because, this is the greatest city in the world and you have to earn the right to call yourself a New Yorker. So why don't you girls crawl into the open sewer pipe you call the Holland Tunnel and flush yourselves back to "pretty much New York"? Because I will do a lot to get laid, but I am not going to New Jersey!