Barney Quote #2115

Quote from Barney in Last Forever

[2018:]
Lily: That woman is half your age. Haven't you changed, even a little?
Barney: No. I haven't. Look, I know there was a time when it seemed like I was capable of going the distance, but... if it wasn't gonna happen with Robin, then it's just not gonna happen with anyone. I am never gonna be a guy who meets a girl and, from the first time I see her, I'm just like... [to a passing woman] "You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours forever."
Woman: Really?
Barney: No, I'm just making a point. Move it along. That's not me. I'm the guy who straightens his tie, says something dirty, high-fives himself and then goes and talks to that girl over there. That's me. Can I please... just be me?
Lily: Judge Fudge?
Marshall: I'll allow it.
Barney: Then I'll a-plow it. Self-five. Stinson out.

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 ‘Last Forever’ Quotes

Quote from Ted

[2020:]
Ted: [v.o.] Aunt Lily wasn't wrong. It was at times a long, difficult road. But I'm glad it was long and difficult, because if I hadn't gone through hell to get there, the lesson might not have been as clear. You see, kids, right from the moment I met your mom, I knew... I have to love this woman as much as I can for as long as I can, and I can never stop loving her, not even for a second. I carried that lesson with me through every stupid fight we ever had, every 5:00 a.m. Christmas morning, every sleepy Sunday afternoon. Through every speed bump, every pang of jealousy or boredom or uncertainty that came our way, I carried that lesson with me. And I carried it with me when she got sick. Even then, in what can only be called the worst of times, all I could do was thank God. Thank every god there is, or ever was, or will be, and the whole universe, and anyone else I can possibly thank... that I saw that beautiful girl on that train platform, and that I had the guts to stand up, walk over to her, tap her on the shoulder, open my mouth, and speak.

Quote from Ted

[2030:]
Ted: Okay, suppose I were interested in Aunt Robin in that way, it's not like I'd do anything about it. I got you guys to think about.
Daughter: Dad, we love Aunt Robin.
Son: Whenever she comes over for dinner, you guys are so obvious.
Daughter: Come on, Dad. Mom's been gone for six years now. It's time.
Ted: What, I just... just call her up on the phone and ask her out on a date?
Both: Yes.
Ted: And that... that's something you guys would want?
Both: Yes!
Ted: All right, I'll give her a call.
Daughter: Do it.
Ted: I am.
Son: Call her.
Ted: I'm calling her.
Daughter: Great.
Ted: Here I go. Or...
[elsewhere, Robin arrives home with five dogs]
Robin: Alright, home sweet home. Wait one second. Okay. Okay. Stay. Ah. We'll work on that. [intercom beeps] Television, display front door security. Television, dis... Oh, for Pete's sakes.
Robin: Television, display front door security. Television, dis... Oh, for Pete's sakes.
[Robin opens the window and looks down to the street. Ted is standing there. He holds up the blue french horn. Robin smiles.]
[title: how i met your mother]

Quote from Ted

[2030:]
Ted: And that, kids... is how I met your mother.
Daughter: That's it?
Ted: That's it.
Daughter: No. I don't buy it. That is not the reason you made us listen to this.
Ted: Oh, really? Then what's the reason?
Daughter: Let's look at the facts here. You made us sit down and listen to this story about how you met mom. Yet mom's hardly in the story. No. This is a story about how you're totally in love with Aunt Robin. And you're thinking about asking her out, and you want to know if we're okay with it.
Ted: I can't believe this. I kept this story short and to the point, and you guys still missed it. The point of the story is that...
Daughter: Is that you totally, totally, totally have the hots for Aunt Robin.
Ted: No, I don't.
Daughter: Yes, you do.
Ted: You're grounded.
Son: Wow, you are really into Aunt Robin.
Ted: You're grounded, too.