Ted Quote #1426
Ted: Now, a simple question. When Lily and Marshall are apart for an extended period of time what is the one thing Lily always does?
Marshall: Cry?
Barney: Masturbate?
Billy Zabka: Karate?
The Captain: Go sailing?
Ted: No. When Lily and Marshall are apart... for a long period of time... Lily... always... starts smoking again.
Marshall: That's true. She does.
Ted: Happened when she went to Paris in college. It happened when she moved to San Francisco and last week, it happened again. From the moment Marshall left for Minnesota, Lily's been secretly puffing down the ciggies like a 46-year-old grandma at a Reno slot machine. Problem was, come Friday morning she knew she'd have to quit again. Cold turkey. And it wouldn't be easy. She tried to make it a whole car ride without a fix, but couldn't. She pretended to be annoyed by perfectly reasonable things, like my stylish driving gloves and my appreciation of the historic Van Otterloop manse. All so she could have one last smoke on the train. But afterwards, her breath told the tale. And that's why, when she got to the hotel.. Lily... was chewing... gum. Lily never chews gum.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Daisy’ Quotes
Quote from Robin
Lily: Are you okay, Robin?
Robin: No, I'm not okay because apparently I am marrying my dad in a few hours.
Genevieve: Oh, sweetie, no, I'm sure that's not true. I mean, there's so much you don't know about your father. There were so many other red flags in our marriage. I mean, for instance, do you know that before he was engaged to me, he was engaged to marry an exotic dancer? Hello. Red flag.
Lily: Oh, Genevieve. Not good.
Genevieve: And, did you know that one time to impress women, he dressed up like a Prussian aristocrat, had a painting of himself made, and posed next to it in an art gallery? Can you imagine?
Lily: That's a rough one.
Genevieve: Darling, darling, the list goes on. He would always take his mother's side in arguments. He never checked with me before making plans. And our rehearsal dinner? Oh, boy, did we have it out right before our rehearsal dinner.
Lily: Thank you, Linus.
Genevieve: For the first 10 years I knew him, I didn't even know what your father did for a living. Every time I used to ask him, he'd say...
Lily: Please.
Genevieve: Yes, that's exactly what he used to say. How did you know that?
Quote from Robin
Genevieve: Oh, darling. Come on. No, no, you're not marrying your father. Your father... I mean, let's just put it this way. Your father was a sociopath. He slept with over 20 women. And sure, you know, we were friends for years first and it was entertaining watching him lie to those poor girls to get inside their snow pants. But I should've known back then this was not husband material. I mean, even your Uncle Jim, you know, his gay black brother...
Lily: Will you shut up?
Quote from Marshall
[one year later, all in Italian:]
Marshall: "C'mon, bro, don't bogart the Funyuns."
Lily: "I'm not bogarting them. There's another bag in the kitchen."
Marshall: "Lily, my darling. I'm the one who boxed up those Funyuns and shipped them here from New York. So it would be nice if you didn't eat them all."
Lily: "Who brings food to Italy? It's Italy!"
Marshall: "Then when are you eating my Funyuns?"
Lily: "You don't want me to eat your Funyuns? Fine. Let's take the kids to the square for some gelato."
Marshall: "Now you're talking. Mickey! Let's go get some gelato."
Mickey: "That's a great idea. I've got the kids in the stroller and everything. Principessa! We're going to get some gelato."
Judy: "You betcha."
Marshall: "My beautiful children. Good morning, Marvin. Good morning, Daisy."