Lily Quote #752
Future Ted: [v.o.] The truth is, there was a ghost in that room. You see, minutes earlier, Marshall had been in the middle of the worst fight of his marriage, when all of sudden, Lily stormed out.
Marshall: Damn it, Lily. This is so unfair.
Ghost Lily: I know! Storming out in the middle of an argument? So childish!
Marshall: Thank you, Ghost Lily. I'm glad at least you see it that way.
Ghost Lily: Although, let's be honest, I did you a favor. You were gonna lose.
Marshall: I... what? I was gonna lose? Uh, check your spectral scorecard, Ghost Lily. I had you on the ropes. That's why you ran out.
Ghost Lily: I ran out because you brought up San Francisco.
Marshall: It was a valid point.
Ghost Lily: It's ancient history. If you're mad at anyone, you're mad at 2006 Lily.
Marshall: Well, I can't very well have an argument with 2006...
2006 Lily: [as Borat:] Is nice! [normal voice:] Do people still say that?
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Sunrise’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: [slurring] A few final thoughts. Don't get married until you're 30. Play laser tag once a week. Give at least as many high fives as you get. Teacup pigs are lady magnets, but very hard to care for. Not worth the effort. The same goes for dogs and babies. And most importantly, whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary unless your friends are there to see it. Good luck, boys. Take care of the game for me.
Kyle: We will. Did you ever get his name?
Justin: No. What'd he give you?
Kyle: I don't know, but I think it's important. [Kyle holds a scrap of papers titled "The Playbook"]
Quote from Barney
Justin: I'm sorry, how exactly are you gonna teach us how to live?
Barney: The journey to awesome starts with a single... Actually, lots of singles. We're going to a strip club. [laughs]
Justin: Strip club? We're in the middle of nowhere.
Barney: There is always a strip club.
Justin: Hey, are you a little worried this guy might kill us?
Kyle: We just put a down payment on adult bunk beds. Would getting killed really be so bad?
Justin: Good point. I got a weird feeling. I mean, there's something off about... Whoa!
Barney: Question: why does this sign say "gentlemen's club"? Answer: because The Crab Shed is a place for gentlemen. A gentleman tips generously. A gentleman uses the complimentary bathroom cologne... [whispering] ...but not too much. Oh. This is important. Your instinct may be to avoid the free buffet. Your instinct is wrong. Don't sleep on the meatballs, gentlemen. They are exquisite! Come on!
Quote from Barney
Justin: Oh, my God, this is amazing! I ruined my pants, but it's totally worth it! Best meatballs ever! Mmm!
Kyle: I'm gonna ask a serious question right now. Can a person live in a strip club?
Barney: Yes. For the next few years, your strip club will be like home. Then, one day, you'll date a stripper and almost marry her, and after that, you'll realize you're done with strip clubs. In the sense that you'll dial it back to, like, once a week.
Justin: I feel like I can talk to women now.
Kyle: Yeah. You just stick a dollar bill in your mouth, and the conversation starts itself.
Justin: You know, I think we're ready to go back to that party and meet some ladies.
Barney: [laughs] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! [slapping them both on each word] You! Are! Not! Ready! Your training is complete when I say your training is complete! Come on, let's go.