Marshall Quote #1205
Quote from Marshall in Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmara
Barney: But you never completed your training.
Marshall: Actually...
[flashback to Marshall being taught by The Calligrapher:]
Ted: Listen to me, I must speak fast. Once you've had your heart slapped out of your body, you've only got 10, 15 minutes to live. Max.
Marshall: Sure.
Ted: The trick to accuracy is to, like, try to be really accurate, okay? Don't just slap, like, really try to aim. Look where you're slapping. That's important. And then try to slap that spot instead of some other spot. Well, I guess that's pretty much it. You can slap people now. Unh!
Marshall: He's gone.
Ted: One other thing. Cleveland has a lot to offer. Be sure to check out the James A. Garfield monument. He was only president for four months before he was assassinated. But if you get up to the top, you can see almost 30 miles as long as the steel factory's not smelting. Ugh! Agh!
Marshall: He's gone.
Ted: No, like I said, 10, 15 minutes. Oh, God, this is awkward.
Marshall: Yeah, yeah.
Ted: It's like when you're saying goodbye to someone... then you realize you're both headed in the same direction. It's like, "What, do we say goodbye again or..." Unh. Agh!
Marshall: He's gone. Wait, are you just pretending so it'll be less awkward? [Ted nods] Should I just, like, go or? [Ted nods] Okay.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmara’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Marshall: A slap in the face. Ah, yes, Barney, there's something I need to tell you about the next slap that you're going to receive. You see, I want this slap to be as painful as humanly possible.
All: Sure.
Barney: Okay, okay. Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right there. Yes, you won a slap bet with me seven years ago. And yes, over the years you got in some great slaps...
Marshall: Some great slaps.
Barney: But here's the problem. You've tormented me so much that I am now immune to it. It's as if my face, my psyche, my soul were covered in that numbing cream, we all put on our deal so that we can go all night, right, fellas? Okay, we'll all just pretend like we've never done that. Just like we've all never sat on our left hand until it fell asleep and then used it for an away-gamer. Okay, we'll all pretend like we've never done that, just like we've all never taken two live jumper cables...
Ted: Please, stop.
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Oh, sorry, kids. I forgot to mention there's a bit of a back-story to this particular slap.
[flashback a few weeks earlier:]
Marshall: Oh, man. At least it landed on the mustard stain.
Barney: Don't bother. That suit is a stain. A stain on the very institution of suits. You know what tie goes with that suit? The tie at the top of a Hefty bag. A suit like that only needs one button, self-destruct.
Lily: Hey, I bought him that suit.
Barney: Where, Barfs Brothers? Men's Outhouse? Georgio Arms-Are-Not-The-Same-Lengthy? That suit is a slap in the face to all suits everywhere.
Quote from Marshall
Barney: Cleveland?
Marshall: Cleveland.
Barney: Why Cleveland?
Marshall: It's the city equivalent of being slapped in the face.
Ted: Bro.