Ted Quote #1381
Quote from Ted in Bedtime Stories
[title: Mosby at the Bat]
Marshall: [v.o.] Ted's mind began to race. The waiter came to take their order. As Lisa said...
Lisa: I might like the spaghetti marinara.
Marshall: [v.o.] Poor Ted just wondered silently...
Ted: [inner monologue] Mariano Rivera?
Marshall: [v.o.] And as she said...
Lisa: I read this place has great chicken Milano.
Marshall: [v.o.] All Ted could bring himself to think was:
Ted: [inner monologue] Alfonso Soriano?
Lisa: I want something hearty. How about blackened miso cod?
Ted: [inner monologue] Is it Joe Girardi? Holy crap, is it A-Rod?! Okay, Ted, calm down. You've got to get yourself together. Just smile, be charming, ooze charisma, talk about the weather. For this might be a date, which means there might be hanky-panky. So, dude, be cool, relax, don't even... [out loud] Just tell me which Yankee!
Lisa: I'd rather not discuss this here. But then again, I'd hate to let a silly secret ruin such a lovely date. If there's an elephant in the room, why don't we just remove it? I dated Derek Jeter. Here's a picture that'll prove it.
Marshall: [v.o.] As Ted looked at that cell phone pic, there were two things he reckoned. This definitely was a date, but there wouldn't be a second.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Bedtime Stories’ Quotes
Quote from Future Ted
Marshall: Okay, I need a brand-new tale to silence Marvin's chatter.
Gus: I don't know, that last one had some sketchy subject matter. Forgive me, but before you got here, did you smoke a joint? You don't tell kids a tale that crass!
Future Ted: [v.o.] I guess he had a point.
Quote from Marshall
Gus: Oh, look a fireworks display. Some rockets red glare action.
Man: Thank God. Thought my glaucoma drops were causing a reaction.
Marshall: Marvin, I'm so sorry this whole journey's been a bummer. Soon you'll be right back in Mommy's arms, as warm as summer. But sadly while your troubles stop once we get to the inn the moment we arrive is when my troubles will begin. Sometimes daddies screw up, sometimes mommies get upset. I really hope this weekend is a memory you'll forget. So look up at those fireworks, enjoy the falling embers...
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that, kids, is the very first thing your cousin Marvin remembers.
Quote from Marshall
Future Ted: [v.o.] Marshall and Marvin were taking the bus on their way to Long Island to meet up with us.
Marshall: There, there, little Marvin. Let no more tears fall. We're gonna see Mommy in no time at all. Hello there. I'm sorry for all of the noise. It's been a long day for the Eriksen boys.
Gus: Uh, what's with the rhyming?
Marshall: I'm glad that you ask. To get my son sleeping is no easy task.
[flashback:]
Marshall: [v.o.] A few weeks ago, the job fell to my wife. And as the poor baby cried out for dear life, she read every book, but all were no use until she arrived at a mother named Goose.
Lily: Why, Marvin...
Marshall: [v.o.] She noted.
Lily: ..these rhymes make you tired!
[present:]
Marshall: And ever since then, all young Marvin's required is one book of rhymes, and to dream land he goes. Now, what shall we read? Oh, crap, I left his book in the car!
Marvin: [cries]
Gus: That blows.
[A lullaby version of the How I Met Your Mother theme song plays]