Barney Quote #1994
Quote from Barney in Mom and Dad
Barney: Hey, guys, don't worry. Help's on the way.
Jerry: Oh! Thank you, Barney.
Loretta: Thank you, honey.
Barney: In the meantime, I'll try to keep you two as comfortable as possible.
[Barney lowers down a tray featuring two candles, a bottle of wine with two lasses, an iPod, and one bowl of soup]
Jerry: Well, we don't need wine.
[Barney reels the tray back up and drops it down again]
Jerry: We don't need champagne, either. We need help! This could be very unsafe!
[Barney throws a ream of condoms down]
Loretta: Oh. I'll say something.
Jerry: No. You've had a whole lifetime of this. Let me. Barney, are you thinking you can get your mother and me back together? Because I'm married. My wife is right upstairs!
Barney: No, she's not.
Jerry: What's that?
Barney: Nothing! I'm just trying to keep you refreshed through this unexpected and flukish elevator malfunction! Here's some water! [Jerry and Loretta are soaked] Ah... drat. Clumsy hands much, Barney? Just disrobe and send up those wet clothes. You'll be cold, so I'll send down strawberry warming gel and some cozy, zippered masks.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Mom and Dad’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Jerry: [to police officers] She's been missing all day, and I found what appears to be a-a suicide note on my bed. But it doesn't really sound like her. "I'm going to kill my - wait for it - self."
Quote from James
James: That's completely insane. This is how it's gonna be.
[black-and-white musical fantasy scene:]
Loretta: [all singing] We're reunited and I'm feeling so glad
Sam: I'm so much sexier than Barney's dad [plays saxophone]
James: Back together, now our life's right on track
Barney: But she's banging my dad behind your dad's back
Jerry: When you're at work, I'm all over her rack
James: That's not true
Barney: Yes, it is
James: That's not funny
Barney: Mom, break the news
Loretta: Okay, we're screwin' like bunnies
Sam: I'll kick your ass
Jerry: I'd like to see you try
James: Well, my dad would win in a fight
Barney: No, my dad would win in a fight
James: No
Barney: Yeah
Quote from Barney
Barney: What do we do?
James: You back down and let me get my mom and dad back together?
Barney: Um, how about you back down and let me get my mom and dad back together? I can already picture it.
[black-and-white musical fantasy scene:]
Loretta: [all singing] We're reunited and we're going so strong
Jerry: My wife died parasailing and I've moved on
Both: And now our Barney-boy will always be near
Barney: I'll come to live with you and it won't be weird
Loretta: Of course not, Wuv-Wuv!
All: Back together and forever we'll be
Loretta: Mom
Jerry: And Dad
Barney: And Barney makes three
Jerry: We love you, champ!
Robin: And I'll live here, too, since we're married and I'm totally cool with it!