Ted Quote #1358
Quote from Ted in The Lighthouse
Lily: Wait a minute. What happened to that girl Cassie?
Ted: Cassie?
Future Ted: [v.o.] Cassie was the girl I'd spent the entire previous night consoling. Just consoling.
Ted: Yeah, that's not happening.
Future Ted: And then, in her anger, Lily gave me a piece of advice about which she would later say...
[flash-forward:]
Lily: Oh, doggy, that was some bad advice.
[present:]
Lily: Okay, here's why you're an idiot. Did you find Cassie attractive?
Ted: I guess.
Lily: Is she a relatively normal height?
Ted: Yeah.
Lily: So end up with her already. God, do you really think that you're gonna find some perfect girl who checks off every item on your list?
Ted: Well, not every item. I mean, she doesn't have to share my love for coins. Although it would be nice, just once, not to have to go stag to Coin-Con.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Lighthouse’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: I'm starting to think a person gets a certain allotment of lighthouses per lifetime. And I've used all mine up.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that, kids, is the kind of stupid thing you say before you've met the person who hits the reset button on the world, who makes everything new again, who makes it seem ridiculous that you ever considered settling, because not two years later...
[flashforward:]
Ted: Look at that.
The Mother: It's like traveling back in time.
Ted: That is exactly what I said. Why couldn't it have been you here with me two years ago?
The Mother: That's probably for the best. When you vomit, I vomit. You know that.
Ted: Well, thanks for being here with me now.
The Mother: Thanks for bringing me. Wow. It is just bonkers beautiful here. I don't know how you could improve on a day like this.
Ted: Well, I'm gonna try. [gets down on one knee]
The Mother: Whoa.
Ted: Will you...
The Mother: Yes.
Ted: You didn't even let me...
The Mother: Yes.
Ted: Marry me?
The Mother: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, yes... yes.
Quote from Lily
Future Ted: [v.o.] Now, late the night before, thanks to Marshall's travel companion, Daphne, Lily had received some unsettling news. Screwing up their whole plan to move to Italy. She wasn't happy.
Lily: Yes, I'm in a rotten mood. No, I don't want to talk about it. Yes, this has booze in it. No, it's not my first.
Barney: You want to make this brunch a drunch? You do you, I'm not gonna judge.
[flashback:]
Marshall: I'm gonna be a judge.
[present:]
Lily: Judge. [smashes glass, which is quickly replaced] Thank you, Linus.
Quote from Barney
Loretta: Pancakes and eggs, Robin? I guess that blouse won't be loose and flowy for long.
Barney: Mom.
Robin: Keep talking, Loretta. I've been waiting all morning to ketchup. Oops.
Loretta: You're not supposed to put ketchup on scrambled eggs.
Robin: Right, Loretta, because you're the queen of scrambled eggs.
Barney: Actually, that's exactly what she is. When Mom was a groupie in the '70s, her scrambled eggs made her the darling of the MSG loading dock. Lot of songs written about those scrambled eggs. ZZ Top's "She's Got Legs"? Originally "She's Got Eggs." Led Zeppelin? "Scramble On." Steve Miller? "The Yolker." If you listen to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon while eating her eggs, it lines up perfectly.