Lily: [on the phone] Plus, it's a crappy room, but when I tried to complain...
[flashback:]
Lily: The thermostat in my room is broken, the AC won't turn off.
Hamish: Ooh. Sounds like the work of Captain Dearduff. He brings with him the icy chill of death. So bad luck there. Night-night.
Lily: It sounds like you're using Captain Dearduff as an excuse for a crappy room.
Hamish: I beg your pardon. I did not get to be a 40-year-old night clerk by making excuses. Now, if there's anything wrong that isn't ghost-related, I'm happy to address it.
Lily: Okay, the Wi-Fi doesn't work.
Hamish: Ghosts interfere with electronic devices.
Lily: The shower's leaking.
Hamish: Dearduff likes the sound of dripping, reminds him of his bleeding victims.
Lily: And the door won't lock.
Hamish: Captain Dearduff doesn't want to, you know, be locked out of his room.
Lily: Why would a locked door keep a ghost out? Can't they walk through walls?
Hamish: Maybe he's afraid of rats.
Lily: There are rats in the walls?
Hamish: No.