Barney Quote #1943
Quote from Barney in The Poker Game
Barney: [taking Ted's phone] I know, right? We're about to go through a tunnel. [hangs up] Guys, big dilemma. My mom's insisting that I get Robin to give James his ring back. But Robin's refusing. But James seems like he's really upset. But Robin's gonna be my wife. But James is my brother. But Robin lets me do sex to her. But I have to spend eternity in my mom's mausoleum. I just wish there was a way I didn't have to take sides. What should I do?
Lily: Choose your wife. You always choose your wife. Easy. Got any other stumpers, like how to answer, "Does this make me look fat?"
Barney: Well, maybe a little around the hips, but no more than usual.
Lily: You're getting married, so I will deal with that one after your honeymoon.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And she did.
[flashforward to a tanned, dread-locked Barney talking with Lily at MacLaren's:]
Barney: Belize was amaz... [Lily knees him in the nuts] Aah!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Poker Game’ Quotes
Quote from James
James: Barney. Here's a good one. What's the difference between a Journey song and a husband? A Journey song has a climax. Ha, ha. I'm sorry, Robin. I'm just messing with you. Raise a hundred.
Robin: No, it's fine. It's just funny hearing all this anti-marriage stuff from a divorced guy who still wears his wedding ring.
James: What, this? Only wear it because nothing attracts a gay guy faster than a wedding ring. Except saying hi to him. Or being in the same room. Or every app on my phone. People, it is a good time to be gay.
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: Ooh! Chicago, there is this pizza place called Gazzola's, it's fantastic. It was closed for a while, but reopened.
Daphne: I'm sure they got a Godzilla's in New York. We're not stopping. It's just pizza.
Marshall: Just pizza? Let me tell you about the thing you say is just pizza. We begin with the first bite. Oh, the crunch. And then the marinara, that roiling lava of tomato and oregano, it overtakes you. I'm falling. And that's when she catches you. That chewy, voluptuous mistress, mozzarella. Her oven-kissed cheeks crackle with warmth in your mouth, cradling the sauce and the bread, letting you know that from now on... this is home. This pizza... is home.
Daphne: If it was so delicious, why'd they close it in the first place?
Marshall: Rats.
Daphne: We're not stopping!
Marshall: This road trip sucks!
Quote from Loretta
Loretta: You get your brother's ring back.
Barney: Mom, please don't make me take sides.
Loretta: That's your brother out there. You two shared bunk beds and baseball mitts, and when you were hungry, these supple breasts... Arguably a little too long. Stinsons stand up for each other. Take care of this. I'm gonna play some cards. All right, chumps. I'm gonna tell you what I told Frampton's guitar tech when he couldn't find a condom. Let's gamble.