Ted Quote #1303
Quote from Ted in Something Old
Ted: Okay. I got a big interview at 3:00 about possibly designing another building. Until then, if you abide by my rulings, I will tell you what goes to Italy and what goes in... The Triangle.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, as you know, "The Bermuda Triangle" was the name we gave to the curb right outside our apartment, which possessed the magical ability to make any item disappear. Instantly.
Ted: The biggest rule for de-cluttering is, "Have you used it in the last year?" If not... Triangle. Have you used this jump rope in the last year?
Marshall: [scoffs] Are you kidding? I hop threads every morning, son!
Ted: Do three in a row and you can keep it.
Marshall: Well-played, Mosby.
Ted: Next! Have you used it in the last year?
Lily: Gee, I can't remember. [opens purse to reveal a note]
Ted: Are you trying to bribe me?
Lily: I don't know what you're talking about. [coughing] Take it.
Ted: Triangle! Next!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Something Old’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: Now, as you know, I'm a bit of a legend when it comes to packing.
Marshall & Lily: We know.
Ted: Tales are still told of the time I traveled all through Spain for two weeks with everything I needed efficiently packed into a hands-free belt satchel. The locals called me...
[title: "El Ganso con la Riñonera"]
Lily: Yeah, it's not a "hands-free belt satchel," Ted. It's a fanny pack.
Ted: It's not a fanny pack.
Marshall: In Spanish, El Ganso con la Riñonera means "Fanny Pack Dork."
Ted: No, it doesn't. It means "Packer of Great Skill and Merit."
Future Ted: [v.o.] I looked it up. It means "Fanny Pack Dork."
Quote from Lily
Marshall: But these handbags? Gonzo.
Lily: No way! These have sentimental meaning to me.
Marshall: Didn't you shop-lift these in your 20s?
Lily: Yes, and I get very nostalgic for that time. You get older, you have kids, you stop stealing, it's sad.
Quote from Robin
Future Ted: [v.o.] In 1994, Robin's dad took her to New York City for the first time...
[flashback:]
Robin: This is amazing! Thank you, sir!
Robin Sr.: Well, a little father-son bonding trip never hurt anyone.
Robin: I-I did almost die from malnutrition on that wolf hunt last year...
Robin Sr.: I had to almost kill you for you to learn how to kill.
Robin: [sighs happily] New York City's the best, eh?
Robin Sr.: I despise it. It's like Edmonton, minus the arts and culture. Come on, we'll miss our flight.
Robin: I'll catch up. [to herself] One day, I'm gonna move here, marry a sophisticated big-city man with a sick mullet - like all the way down to his shoulder pads, and at night, he'll let me brush it - and I'll dig up this locket so it can be my "something old" at our wedding.
Robin Sr.: R.J.!
Robin: Coming, sir! [whispers] I'll be back for you.