Barney Quote #1843
Quote from Barney in Weekend at Barney's
[title: "The Kidney". Ted is in MacLaren's in a hospital gown:]
Ted: I still don't get why someone would leave the hospital without changing into their clothes first. Over.
Barney: [over ear piece] Ted, this is my thing. So just... okay? Over. Okay? Over.
Woman: Are you all right?
Ted: What? Oh. Yes, yes, I'm fine. Tomorrow, I'm donating a kidney to my best friend. My best friend Barney. Not Marshall. Barney. Marshall's so lame. Anyway, just wanted to grab one last drink, in case, you know, I don't make it.
Woman: You are so brave.
Ted: Hey, listen. Before I give my best friend this organ, how about... Nope. Nope, I'm not saying that. I did hear you, but I'm not saying that. Because I'm not.
Woman: Are you okay?
Ted: One second. I know you put a lot of work into this. I understand that. I understand that. I understand that. [long pause] I understand that. Why can't I just talk to her? Maybe we'll hit it off... Fine. Copy that. How about I give you a different organ? My penis.
[The woman throws a drink in Ted's face]
Barney: You said it wrong.
Ted: I did not say it wrong!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Weekend at Barney's’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Marshall: This is the life. We got the three B's. Beach, booze and bodacious babes.
Ted: I don't know. I'm starting to think we should call the police.
Marshall: Oh, would you relax? We've got it made. One whole week at his bodacious beach house, no strings attached.
Ted: Well, there is one string attached.
Woman: Hi, Barney.
[Ted pulls a string to make Barney's arm wave]
Ted & Marshall: Bodacious.
[Barney jolts up in bed:]
Barney: "Weekend at Barney's!"
Robin: What is it? What's wrong?
Barney: The plays, Robin, the plays. The ingenious techniques I used as a bachelor to pick up busty dullards. They just keep coming to me, I can't turn them off.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Your wedding response card, as promised.
Robin: Why didn't you just mail it like everybody else?
Ted: Oh, see, that's sad, Robin. You should be touched that I hand-delivered it. Has social media so eroded our interpersonal relationships that we no longer wish to experience the...
Robin: You wanted to keep the stamp?
Ted: They're 46 cents now. It's getting out of hand.
Quote from Barney
Robin: Okay, Barney, let me ease your mind, okay?
Barney: All right, here we go.
Robin: Remember when you set your Playbook on fire? That was the moment I realized you were someone I could marry.
Barney: And I'd burn it again if I could. You're right. I'm done with all these plays. Besides, there's no way I'll ever come up with anything that tops "Weekend at Barney's".
[later, Barney jolts up in bed again:]
Barney: "Weekend at Barney's Two!"
Robin: Damn it, Barney!