Barney Quote #1842
Quote from Barney in Weekend at Barney's
[title: "The Special Delivery". Ted enters MacLaren's holding a package and wearing a courier uniform]
Barney: [over ear piece] Ice Man to Neruda. Ice Man to Neruda. Bogey at 10:00, and she is packing two fully-operational sweater stretchers. That's bravo, Oscar, Oscar, bravo, Sierra. Possible delta cups.
Ted: Copy that. Engaging target. Over.
Barney: Excuse me, I have a delivery for Lisa.
Ted: Excuse me, I have a delivery for Lisa.
Barney: Are you Lisa?
Ted: Are you Lisa?
Woman: Uh, no.
Barney: But you must be. I was told to...
Ted: deliver this package to a girl named Lisa, and that I'd recognize her because she'd be...
Barney: The most beautiful girl in this bar.
Ted: So, here's your delivery, Lisa.
Woman: Uh, I am definitely not Lisa, but I would be happy to help you find her.
Barney: Great, and then maybe later...
Ted: I could give you a different package... my penis.
[The woman storms out]
Ted: That is a terrible line!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Weekend at Barney's’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Marshall: This is the life. We got the three B's. Beach, booze and bodacious babes.
Ted: I don't know. I'm starting to think we should call the police.
Marshall: Oh, would you relax? We've got it made. One whole week at his bodacious beach house, no strings attached.
Ted: Well, there is one string attached.
Woman: Hi, Barney.
[Ted pulls a string to make Barney's arm wave]
Ted & Marshall: Bodacious.
[Barney jolts up in bed:]
Barney: "Weekend at Barney's!"
Robin: What is it? What's wrong?
Barney: The plays, Robin, the plays. The ingenious techniques I used as a bachelor to pick up busty dullards. They just keep coming to me, I can't turn them off.
Quote from Ted
Ted: Your wedding response card, as promised.
Robin: Why didn't you just mail it like everybody else?
Ted: Oh, see, that's sad, Robin. You should be touched that I hand-delivered it. Has social media so eroded our interpersonal relationships that we no longer wish to experience the...
Robin: You wanted to keep the stamp?
Ted: They're 46 cents now. It's getting out of hand.
Quote from Barney
Robin: Okay, Barney, let me ease your mind, okay?
Barney: All right, here we go.
Robin: Remember when you set your Playbook on fire? That was the moment I realized you were someone I could marry.
Barney: And I'd burn it again if I could. You're right. I'm done with all these plays. Besides, there's no way I'll ever come up with anything that tops "Weekend at Barney's".
[later, Barney jolts up in bed again:]
Barney: "Weekend at Barney's Two!"
Robin: Damn it, Barney!