Lily Quote #666

Quote from Lily in The Ashtray

Marshall: Lily!
Lily: Hey, you know the rules. You misbehave, I take away one of your toys. Aldrin Justice, baby.
Marshall: So you're telling me that that ashtray that's been in our apartment for over a year and a half is not only stolen, but also very expensive.
Lily: Both of those things, yes.

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 ‘The Ashtray’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Ted: [on the phone] Uh, Captain, can... can I put you on hold?
The Captain: Affirmative.
Ted: He wants Robin's number. Should I give it to him?
Barney: Is he trying to hook up with my fiance? No, uh-uh. The only way that's happening is if I get to hook up with someone, too. Wait a second... No. Unless... Absolutely not. However... Forget it. On the other hand... Ixnay! [slaps himself]

Quote from Barney

Robin: So he invited me back to his bedroom to show me this painting, and...
[flashback to The Captain waiting on his bed:]
The Captain: Finally. We're alone.
[present:]
Barney: Robin, no, I don't want to picture that.
Robin: Nothing happened.
Barney: Aw, that means hand stuff.
Robin: What? No. I'm serious. He was on the rebound. I told him to take some time to pull himself together and call me in a year and a half.
Barney: Ah, great. What if he asks you out? What does that mean for our relationship? What, are we planning to be in some super-enlightened, forward-thinking marriage, where we don't get hung up on the suffocating and outdated principles of monogamy, and instead enjoy the company of multiple partners, sometimes bringing said partners into our marital bed, but just girls, not dudes, except maybe one time just to see what that's like? I mean, is that what you want?
Robin: No.
Barney: Okay. Me, neither!

 Lily Aldrin Quotes

Quote from Unfinished

Lily: Where's the poop, Robin?
Robin: Excuse me?
Lily: When I was a kid, I had a dog named Bean. Whenever he made the face that you're making right now, you just knew he pooped somewhere in the house. Where's the poop, Robin?
Robin: I don't know what you're talking about.
Lily: Where's the poop, Robin?
Robin: There's no poop.
Lily: Where's the poop?

Quote from Desperation Day

Lily: I decided to go to Minnesota to see Marshall. He shouldn't have to help his mom through this rough time all by himself.
Barney: You losing your mind, being alone in your apartment?
Lily: I'm getting weird! [v.o.] See, it started off with me throwing Marshall's jersey on my body pillow. And, well, things kind of spiraled from there.
[flashback to Lily sitting down for dinner with a pillow wearing Marshall's suit:]
Lily: I'm sorry I yelled like that before.
[present:]
Lily: I call him "Marshpillow." And he calls me... nothing because he's a pillow.