Barney Quote #1786
Quote from Barney in The Final Page (Part 1)
Ted: The ring! What's, what's, what's the ring?
Barney: Right, the ring. I'm gonna ask Patrice to marry me.
Both: Are you serious?
Barney: Jinx! Good! I need to say some things without you interrupting. Yes, I am serious. I know that if you could talk, you'd say that I'm crazy or that I'm overcorrecting or that I'm moving too fast. But you would be wrong. Look, I have banged my way through every bimbo in the tristate area, and it left me feeling nothing but, but broken. But now, with Patrice, for the first time in my life, I feel settled and happy. I want to feel this way forever. So tomorrow night on the roof of the World Wide News building - that's Patrice's favorite spot - I'm gonna ask her to marry me. Ah, poot-tu-tat! You're jinxed. I'll unjinx you if you'll follow these two rules: One, you can't try to talk me out of it; and two, you can't tell anybody. Agreed? It's a jinx swear, so if you break it, I get to hit you in the nuts three times with a Wiffle ball bat. Thank you... Ted.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Final Page (Part 1)’ Quotes
Quote from Robin
Robin: So, let me ask you a few questions, Clarice... Patrice.
[fantasy of Robin talking to Patrice down a pit:]
Robin: How would you rate your performance in the last six months?
Patrice: Well, I don't like to talk about myself, but all my coworkers deserve an A-double-plus, that's for suresies. Ooh, fancy lotion.
Robin: It puts the lotion in the basket.
[reality:]
Patrice: It's just, this is really nice lotion. And what a pretty basket, Robin.
Robin: I know, that's why I bought it, Patrice!
Quote from Barney
Robin: Hey, guys, look, it's Bar... none, my favorite non-speaking jinxed person in the world. How was your day?
[Barney energetically mouths: "I'll tell you how my day was, you bastards. I spent an hour in a taxi unable to tell him where to go. So I got reamed out at work for being late. But at least when they asked who was too busy to work this weekend, I couldn't say anything, so that's my Sunday! Now I beg of you, in the words of the almighty Destiny's Child... Say my name!"]
Ted: Yeah, I didn't get a word of that.
Robin: Sorry, buddy.
Quote from Barney
Waitress: Can I get you guys anything to drink?
Marshall & Barney: Scotch, neat.
Marshall: Jinx.
Lily: Oh, my... God.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, you may be wondering why five adults in their 30s would take a jinx so seriously. It all started one day five years ago.
[flashback to Marshall, Lily and Barney watching TV in the apartment:]
Marshall & Barney: Ooh, Van Helsing.
Marshall: Jinx. You're jinxed. That means that you can't speak until someone who was present for the jinx says your name, or else you will have very bad luck.
Barney: [scoffs] That's ridiculous. [Marshall and Lily gasp]
Barney: You broke the jinx. Marshall, I'm a grown-ass man. I'm on my building's co-op board. When I say a Pinot Noir tastes luxuriously earthy with a hint of rhubarb, I'm not faking it. I've had several of the same sexual partners as Henry Kissinger. I'm not about to stop talking just because I was jinxed.
[flashback to Barney being hit by a bus]
Future Ted: Barney broke three limbs and two vertebrae, but he never broke another jinx. In fact, he started taking jinxes way too seriously.