Marshall Quote #1005
Quote from Marshall in Splitsville
Nick: They're going up against the Number Crunchers without me.
Robin: It's an after-work basketball league for lawyers and accountants and architects who sew. I mean, who takes it that seriously?
Nick: No! I just hate letting Coach Eriksen down. I would follow that man through the gates of hell.
[flashback to Marshall giving a pep talk:]
Marshall: Winning. What do we win when we beat those Number Crunchers a few short weeks hence? A game? Sure. A trophy? Sort of. We win a $25 gift card to Bennigan's. But what is it that we really win?
Nick: The game!
Marshall: Yes, I said that, Nick.
Nick: Yeah.
Marshall: But we also win the right to walk tall. The right to call ourselves champions. So we are gonna go out and we are gonna wipe the floor with those accountants. And afterwards, we will feast like kings on Southwest Fajitas and Cajun Shrimp! And that check... That check will be marginally less expensive!
All: Yeah! Yeah!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Splitsville’ Quotes
Quote from Ted
Ted: Wow. Crazy, right?
Lily: Yeah. You know what'd be really crazy? If all of 'em got it on. Barney, Robin, Nick and those two women. And you just know Nadia's watching in the corner with her pet snake.
Ted: Okay, why aren't you two having sex?
Lily: What?
Marshall: Excuse me?
Ted: Lily has been slobbering over Robin's sex life like a cartoon hobo watching a pie cool on a windowsill. And you, the only other time you've ever exercised this seriously was when Lily had mono freshman year and I caught you doing one-armed push-ups with your genitals over a bowl of ice. So when did you stop doing it and why?
Quote from Marshall
Robin: Nick and I haven't had sex in three days. And it's your fault. Nick won't have sex because he pulled his groin muscle all 'cause you made him join your stupid basketball team.
Marshall: Did you say "stupid basketball team"?
Robin: Yeah.
Marshall: Oh, my gosh. Guys, we have to rush Robin to the hospital because, somehow, she swallowed her vocal cords and they got lodged in her rectum, because she's talking out of her ass.
Quote from Ted
Marshall: If Joel can use ringers, then so can we. And Nick is our best player, so as far as I'm concerned, you can both keep your groins on ice.
Ted: Groins on Ice. Least popular Madison Square Garden holiday show ever.