Barney Quote #1689
Quote from Barney in The Magician's Code - Part Two
Barney: Mr. Flanagan wasn't banging my mom.
Mr. Drury: Well. Your flight left. We need to hold Mr. Stinson for further questioning. But you're free to go.
Quinn: Maybe I should.
Barney: Wait! I'll show you the trick. Sir! May I please have the silk handkerchief in your top left breast pocket?
TSA Agent: Well... I don't have... [chuckles]
Barney: Sim salabi ma... Sim salabi ma... [Barney pulls out a sword] Relax, relax, it's part of the trick.
TSA Agent: How did you get that through the X-Ray machine?
Barney: No questions from the audience, please! [gibberish]
TSA Agent: What is that?
Barney: Madam, may I please have the key on your necklace?
Quinn: [giggles] Oh!
Mr. Drury: Is that gonna explode?
Barney: [covers ears] What? [explosion] [loudly] Will you marry me?
Quinn: Yes.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Magician's Code - Part Two’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Meanwhile, Barney and Quinn were off to Hawaii for their first getaway as a couple.
TSA Agent: Ma'am, I need you to open your suitcase.
Barney: It's mine. Did you have to replace my luggage, too?
Quinn: Run away on me again, you'll be wearing hot pink stilettos.
TSA Agent: What's that?
Quinn: Yeah, what is that?
Barney: It's a magic trick. You see, I'm something of a magician.
TSA Agent: Open the box, sir.
Barney: [laughs] Oh, I can't do that. [dog barks]
TSA Agent #2: Sir, are there drugs in that box?
Barney: Oh, no. He's probably just barking because of the explosives.
[The TSA agents pull their guns on Barney]
Quinn: Oh, my God!
TSA Agent: Tell us what's in the box right now!
Barney: I can't. Magician's Code.
Quote from Ted
[a little ways down the road:]
Ted: The road to this day has had a few twists and turns, hasn't it?
Marshall: Yeah. Just a few. In a weird way, it all makes sense, though, doesn't it?
Ted: Yeah. Yeah, it kind of does.
[Ted knocks on a door and walks in]
Ted: The bride wants to see me?
[Robin turns around]
Quote from Robin
Ted: Wow. Seeing them in there all together like that, they're a family, you know? That's what I want.
Robin: Oh, Ted, I'm glad we're friends again.
Ted: Me, too.
Robin: Because as your friend, I have to tell you: You're full of crap! You say you want a family, you say you want to meet "The One," but you are always chasing the wrong women.
Ted: That is not true.
Robin: Look at the women you date, starting with me: I told you right away I didn't want marriage or kids. Stella had a child with another man who she still loved. Zoey was married and trying to sabotage your career and wore a lot of stupid hats. I mean, if you really wanted a family, you would stop pursuing women you know there is no future with.
Ted: Okay, first of all, hats were in that year, kind of. Secondly, I don't always choose women there's no future with. Kind of.
Robin: Name one exception.
Ted: Victoria. Victoria was great.
Robin: Exactly, and you threw it all away to chase after some hot piece of ass. [scoffs]
Ted: You mean you?
Robin: Thank you! Victoria is the only woman you've dated who could've been "The One." You should call her.
Ted: Tiny thing, last time I saw her, she was getting engaged.
Robin: That was eight months ago. For all you know, she's single again.
Ted: What if she's married?
Robin: What if she's not? Then you would actually have a chance to get what you say you want, and it terrifies you. Why? Because if I stole a scalpel and cut you open, all I would find inside is a scared, trembling pile of crap.
Ted: See, I've missed these talks.
Robin: Me too.