Barney Quote #1685
Quote from Barney in The Magician's Code - Part Two
TSA Agent: Open the box now!
Barney: I can't. Magician's Code.
Quinn: What the hell is the Magician's Code?!
Barney: "A magician never reveals his tricks." Mr. Flanagan, my magic mentor from the hallowed Staten Island Mall Magic Shop, taught me the importance of the Code one fateful autumn night in 1993.
Quinn: Always good to tell a long story while people are aiming guns at you.
Barney: 'twas a night that changed my life.
[flashback to goth Barney in 1993:]
Barney: Hello? Mr. Flanagan. Wh-What are you doing here?
Mr. Flanagan: Um, I'm checking up on you. Just to make sure you're practicing your craft or whatever.
Barney: That is an honor, sir. And yeah, I promise, I'm practicing. But wait. Why were you... Why were you going in my mom's room?
Mr. Flanagan: Uh, your mom's actually helping me with a new trick.
Barney: That is so cool! What is this trick? Is it sawing a lady in half?
Mr. Flanagan: Well, not sawing. But actually, the Magician's Code forbids me from telling you anything else about the trick.
Loretta: [o.s.] Wayne, come back to bed!
Mr. Flanagan: Okay, it involves a bed.
Barney: W-W-Wait. Can you at least tell me the name of this trick?
Mr. Flanagan: Sure, kid. It's called...
[present:]
Barney: The Disappearing Salami. Mr. Flanagan's wife shot him before he could ever tell me what the trick was.
Quinn: Yeah, that guy was banging your mom.
All: Yup.
Barney: Mr. Flanagan was not ban- Oh, my God, he was.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Magician's Code - Part Two’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] Meanwhile, Barney and Quinn were off to Hawaii for their first getaway as a couple.
TSA Agent: Ma'am, I need you to open your suitcase.
Barney: It's mine. Did you have to replace my luggage, too?
Quinn: Run away on me again, you'll be wearing hot pink stilettos.
TSA Agent: What's that?
Quinn: Yeah, what is that?
Barney: It's a magic trick. You see, I'm something of a magician.
TSA Agent: Open the box, sir.
Barney: [laughs] Oh, I can't do that. [dog barks]
TSA Agent #2: Sir, are there drugs in that box?
Barney: Oh, no. He's probably just barking because of the explosives.
[The TSA agents pull their guns on Barney]
Quinn: Oh, my God!
TSA Agent: Tell us what's in the box right now!
Barney: I can't. Magician's Code.
Quote from Ted
[a little ways down the road:]
Ted: The road to this day has had a few twists and turns, hasn't it?
Marshall: Yeah. Just a few. In a weird way, it all makes sense, though, doesn't it?
Ted: Yeah. Yeah, it kind of does.
[Ted knocks on a door and walks in]
Ted: The bride wants to see me?
[Robin turns around]
Quote from Barney
Barney: Mr. Flanagan wasn't banging my mom.
Mr. Drury: Well. Your flight left. We need to hold Mr. Stinson for further questioning. But you're free to go.
Quinn: Maybe I should.
Barney: Wait! I'll show you the trick. Sir! May I please have the silk handkerchief in your top left breast pocket?
TSA Agent: Well... I don't have... [chuckles]
Barney: Sim salabi ma... Sim salabi ma... [Barney pulls out a sword] Relax, relax, it's part of the trick.
TSA Agent: How did you get that through the X-Ray machine?
Barney: No questions from the audience, please! [gibberish]
TSA Agent: What is that?
Barney: Madam, may I please have the key on your necklace?
Quinn: [giggles] Oh!
Mr. Drury: Is that gonna explode?
Barney: [covers ears] What? [explosion] [loudly] Will you marry me?
Quinn: Yes.