Barney Quote #1594

Quote from Barney in The Drunk Train

Ted: Wow. Someone's had some coffee.
Barney: Yeah. 18 cups! There is no way I'm falling asleep tonight! That Quinn girl is so wrong. She said I could never love anything, but I love this train!
Ted: She said you could never love anything? That's intense.
Barney: Oh, you have no idea.
Quinn: Stop staring. Not gonna happen.
Barney: Is there any way we can start over and get to know each other?
Quinn: I already know you.
Barney: Oh, really?
Quinn: You wear a suit all the time.
Barney: Obviously.
Quinn: You have a stupid rule about everything.
Barney: I pay for the meal, you handle my deal. That's just good manners.
Quinn: But you end most nights alone at a strip club, feeling empty inside, telling yourself your life is somehow epic or classic or... legendary.
Barney: I never say epic or classic. Do you practice the dark arts?


 ‘The Drunk Train’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Ted: What the hell happened on that train? It was absolute chaos.
Barney: Ted, when I was at M.I.T., my favorite Einstein quote was: "God doesn't play dice with the universe."
Ted: You didn't go to M.I.T.
Barney: I didn't?
Ted: Huh. I actually have no idea where you went to college. Who are you?

Quote from Ted

Barney: I was all, "Do I look like I'm from Ronkonkoma?!"
All: Oh...!
Barney: That's all you gotta say!
Ted: Oh, oh, oh, big man with a briefcase! What do you think, you're better than me?!

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: [v.o.] That night, Barney and I found ourselves in a strange, new universe called... The Drunk Train.
Barney: Where has this heavenly vehicle been all my life? Can you hear its inspiring chant, Ted? I think I can get laid, I think I can get laid. It's-it's The Little Engine with Wood, The Whore-ient Express. The Long Island Tail Road!
Ted: Oh, I got one. Thomas the Spank Engine!
Barney: Ted, that is a children's book.